


Reciprocal Altruism

by DropTheBasil



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dorks in Love, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DropTheBasil/pseuds/DropTheBasil
Summary: Barry and Caitlin agree to fake date in order to fulfill agendas of their own. Caitlin needs a tutor and Barry needs Iris to fall in love with him.Science says it's possible! After all, they are both after separate goals and have absolutely no romantic feelings towards each other. None at all. Nothing can go wrong because science never lies, right?
Relationships: Barry Allen & Cisco Ramon & Caitlin Snow, Barry Allen & Iris West, Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow, Caitlin Snow & Iris West, Caitlin Snow & Oliver Queen, Caitlin Snow & Thomas Snow, Eddie Thawne/Iris West, Felicity Smoak & Caitlin Snow, Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, Ronnie Raymond & Caitlin Snow
Comments: 56
Kudos: 94





	1. Theory Set Into Motion

**Reciprocal altruism: A social interaction in which an individual makes sacrifices for another in expectation of similar benefits in return.**

* * *

Caitlin Snow spent the course of her Biotech class moving her eyes in a triangular fashion. First, she gazed at the clock. 15 minutes of class left. Then, she drifted to the professor lecturing about the difference between cow DNA and chicken DNA.

_Focus, Caitlin,_ she berated herself, _you need to pass this class._

And she did need to pass this class, which was why she was so nervous. Today was the day she was going to lose all dignity and beg a college professor to tweak her grades. How low she had come.

She wrung her hands over and over. Tapped her toe on the sole of her shoes. Counted how many times the professor said "DNA". Anything to keep her eyes from moving to the last point of her triangle.

Ronnie Raymond, the ex-love of her life. Sitting right in front of her, probably on purpose.

Every once in a while he'd rub the back of his neck or stretch a certain way causing the back of his shirt to ride up just a smidge and Caitlin… well, Caitlin didn't know how to feel.

Part of her really wanted to kiss him. Part of her wanted to stand in front of him and cry her heart out. But most of her just really wanted to throw a book at his beautiful dumb back muscles.

At least he helped her with learning anatomy. She knew every part of him from where she was seated. Staring at the back of his skull, down to his trapezius, rhomboid major, and levator scapulae muscles... she wondered what went wrong.

Why couldn't she go back to the days where she could just look at him without feeling like a stalker?

Oh, that's right. It was because science was more important than Caitlin. Stein was more important than Caitlin. His college research project, F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M., was more important than Caitlin.

Caitlin could safely say that in Ronnie's opinion, everything was more important than her.

Which was probably why he had no problem breaking up with her.

Okay, so maybe all of her wanted to hit him.

She was still working it out.

Her eyes moved once more, back to the clock. The triangle had restarted its cycle.

0 minutes of class. Show time.

"Wonderful explanation, Mr. Rathaway. All right students," Professor Stein exclaimed clapping his hands together. "Be prepared for a lab tomorrow. We will be extracting, isolating, and comparing DNA, so don't be late."

The room was vacant aside from a few stragglers, as students began clearing out. Caitlin wished they would pack up and leave already.

Taking a deep breath and gathering as much courage as possible she walked up to the scholarly man's desk. "Professor Stein, is there anything I can do that will help bring my grade up?" Caitlin resisted falling on her knees and grasping her two hands together, pleading.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Snow, but the grades are exam based only. I can recommend tutors, but your exam grades reflect only on you. Asking me to help change your grade is not the right solution for your 68%. If your grade continues in this spiraling fashion, I will not think twice about removing you. This is a high level course and I do not tolerate idle workers."

How she wished there was nobody in the room to hear that statement. She didn't want to turn around and check.

"I understand, sir. Thank you." Red faced in embarrassment, she forced out the words in a rush and exited the room as quickly as possible.

She'd look into tutors. You know, if she had money. If her parents found out about her grade, she would never hear the end of it. She worked so hard, earning scholarship money, working long hour shifts, and here she was throwing all of it away because of a Biotech class.

Why was she in this class anyway? Caitlin had never once gotten anything lower than an A. B's in her mind were unthinkable and now, she was facing a D.

She loved biology in high school and even asked for a science kit for Christmas. Working in labs was fun and entertaining and scientists were her "One Direction." She even had posters on the walls of her childhood bedroom of Antonie van Leeuwenhoek and Aristotle to prove it. Granted, Aristotle did put atomic matter research off for decades, but he made up for it through his creation of the "ladder of life".

Right now, she felt like the scum at the bottom of the depressing ladder.

The minute she entered the class, she had a bad feeling. After dropping out of a previous biology class, Caitlin made a name for herself amongst the science department, and not a good one. It didn't help that the class she dropped out of was taught by the most influential person in the science world today.

Oh, and did she mention that the class she was in now was taught by Professor Stein. The man that sent her boyfriend, sorry, ex-boyfriend, Ronnie, away on missions "for science". The man that pretty much broke up the one real relationship that she ever had.

Yeah, this class was just dandy.

"It sucks that his class is exam based only," a voice behind her said, "You'd think that in a Biology class, the labs would be graded as well."

The voice had just come out of Stein's room. The voice had heard her entire conversation with the professor. Well, actually the voice didn't hear anything, but the person attached to the voice did…

Caitlin turned around to see who the mystery person was and... great, it was Barry Allen.

A running speedster on the track team and an intelligent scholar in the classroom, Barry was every woman's dream. And what made him more adorable and goddamn sexy (their words, not hers), was his unattainability due to his longstanding crush, or more likely, infatuation with Iris West, the journalism beauty queen.

He was like Peter Parker from the Spiderman reboot, a cute geek that was not nerdy… at all. Caitlin always preferred the original actual nerd Parker. It was unfair to be intellectual and physically attractive. Choose one or the other and leave room for the rest of the world. Especially for people like Caitlin, struggling to get by on both sides of the spectrum.

Caitlin almost groaned out-loud; this superhero-athletic-nerd boy had just heard her entire conversation with Stein.

"What do you want, Allen?" She continued to walk, not waiting for a reply.

"How are you?" the boy asked innocently.

"Look, I'm really not in the mood to socialize, so unless you want to help me bang my head against a bunch of biology books and hope that I gain some brain cells from that, I don't want to talk to you."

"I get it. That class is hard, but I think I can help you."

"You're not into those study drugs or cheating are you?" I mean, there had to be some explanation as to how he managed to be so good at track and his classes at the same time.

"What? No!" Barry said, appalled. "I'll tutor you," he clarified.

"What's in it for you?"

Barry pretended to think, but Caitlin knew he already had an answer. "I say we form a mutualistic relationship, Snow."

"How so, Allen?"

"Reciprocal altruism."

"Come again?"

"You see, it's a biology term about the behavior of an organism where it temporarily reduces its fitness to help another organism, with the expectation that the other organism will act in a similar manner at a later time. It's incredibly selfish, but it helps them both survive."

"I know what it means, but what's your point?"

"Pretend to be my girlfriend and I'll help you pass your Biotech class," Barry said, stopping in front of Caitlin to prevent her from walking any farther. Caitlin abruptly halted her step in order to prevent from crashing into the hopeless romantic.

There were a few, okay a lot, of question marks that flew around in her head, amongst other choice curse words, but the first word that came out of her mouth was, "Why?"

"So Iris will see that I am a dependable boyfriend and she'll fall in love with me."

Caitlin stared at him, she should have just walked away. Barry rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay, so it sounded a lot better in my head."

Caitlin scrunched her eyebrows, it was now time for those choice curse words. "Are you crazy? You do realize that I'm not popular, right? In fact, being with me will probably bring your social standing down."

She meant to rant about how stupid he was; she did not intend to start hating on herself. It was true nonetheless.

"My social standing?" Barry sounded confused.

"You know, your popular smart jock guy… standing."

Barry raised his eyebrows.

"You know what, never mind. I'm not doing it. It's manipulative and complicated and—"

"Come on, Cait!"

"Don't call me that and I am not going to help you manipulate a poor girl into a relationship!"

"Please?" he went on ignoring her protest.

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No. Why don't you get one of your fangirls to do it for you?"

"My fangirls?"

"Yeah, the 'Allenites', the 'Barraholics', and my personal favorite the 'Barrometers'."

"You're joking right?"

"You are really behind on the times. Seriously, you need to check out the internet more often."

"I have fans?"

"You don't have lamps," when Barry looked at Caitlin with a blank face she continued, "It's a joke."

"Um," Barry stuttered.

"Shouldn't you be excited to have a bunch of girls talking about your abs and your hair? I mean, I hate it since I have to deal with your description constantly going on and on in my apartment and social media and— I swear if I have to hear one more time about how amazing red looks on you, or how your brown eyes twinkle with flecks of green or—" Caitlin trailed off looking at Barry's stunned face. "Are you okay?"

"I didn't know—"

"That you were popular? Surprise, surprise, if you're on the track team, you're pretty much guaranteed popularity."

"I've never been popular before."

Caitlin gave him a questioning look so Barry continued, "Iris was my only friend from elementary school through high school. Surprise, surprise, nobody wants to be friends with the weird kid with a science lab in the garage."

Caitlin decided that now was not a good time to mention her lab in the basement.

"The only reason I joined track and am moderately good at it is because I spent most of my life running from the bullies."

Caitlin was speechless, she honestly never knew that.

"And so now I want to impress Iris."

Oh, great. He's at it again.

"To quote _Hamlet_ Act 2 Scene 3 Line 92... 'No'." Caitlin firmly stated.

"You're failing Biotech—"

"I'm not failing," Caitlin muttered under her breath.

"Right, a D is not a fail."

"I fail to see how you're convincing me to help you."

"We'll just hold hands and pretend like we care about each other and then Iris will see that I'm a good boyfriend and then we'll be together and you can pass your class," Barry said, taking a long breath after that long sentence. "Hey, wait up!" He shouted, panting as he ran behind the brunette. He grabbed her hand and turned her around. "What if I told you that Ronnie would be pretty jealous to see you with another person, aka me? You know, since I'm so popular."

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "He broke up with me and it doesn't even matter anyway, I'm over him."

Barry said softly, "I see the way you look at him."

"Oh, so now you've been stalking me? Is Iris not enough for you?" Caitlin shot back nastily.

"Please, Caitlin. I know he's not over you. I know how it feels to love someone and know them so well, but never be able to be with them. I know how it feels to laugh and smile as friends, when you so badly just want to hold their hands and tell them about your undying love. So please, Caitlin. Please help me. I've been in love with Iris for years."

Everyone, even anti-social Caitlin, knew about Barry's love for Iris... except Iris.

Ugh, love stories were always her guilty pleasure. Curse her romantic heart.

Caitlin sighed. "Fine. We'll hold hands, we'll giggle, we'll hug, but only when Iris is around. Any other time, we don't speak to each other unless you are helping me study which we will do at the library at a set time. We will not visit each other, nor will we call each other. And we definitely won't—"

"Wait, I think I might need to write all of these rules down."

"This isn't funny, Allen."

"Yes, yes. You're right." Barry took both her hands and looked into her eyes. "Thank you."

"Whatever. Ready to go, Boyfriend?" Caitlin asked, standing in front of the classroom holding her books to her chest.

Barry opened the door for her and grinned. "After you, Girlfriend."

Little did Caitlin and Barry know that reciprocal altruism, nature's form of evolution, would prove to be more than just a survival tactic for the two of them.


	2. Forming a Hypothesis

**Hypothesis: A supposition or proposed explanation made on the basis of limited evidence as a starting point for further investigation.**

* * *

_I'm doing this for my grade._ Caitlin repeated the mantra in her head as she stood in front of the door.

 _My grade depends on this._ Barry's hand held it open for her, she just needed to walk inside.

 _I need an A._ She took a deep breath. What's the big deal? They were just going to walk in to class together.

 _I am doing this for my future._ She took one step through the door.

 _My happiness._ Second step.

_My—_

"Nope." Caitlin turned around at lightning speed (Barry should be impressed) and walked out. "I am not going to do this."

Barry let go of the door handle and raced after her.

"Hey." He grabbed her hand, keeping her from running away any farther. "We can do this."

He looked so certain... so encouraging. Like she was running a relay race and finishing the final lap. Everything depended on her.

Barry's eyes stared deep into her own and at that moment, Caitlin understood where the girls from her university were coming from… his eyes were beautiful.

"We can do this, Caitlin. We have to." His voice was soothing and calm, but also commanding. Like he was trying to talk down a panicked animal.

"Maybe you can, but I have no idea how to do this fake relationship thing!" Caitlin felt her heart rate rapidly increasing. "I've only had one boyfriend in my entire life. Unless you count Julian. He was this new British student in my elementary school. We kissed on the baseball field in the fourth grade. It was pretty great. I mean, I don't remember it that well, but all the girls were totally jealous of me and—"

Barry snapped his fingers in her face, the barest hint of a smile gracing his face. "You're rambling."

"No, I'm Caitlin." The response came out of her mouth before her brain could slap her upside the head.

"Seriously? Now is not the time for dad jokes, Caitlin." Barry looked like he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"So you're going to be the mom in this relationship?"

"There is no relationship, okay? You don't have to worry about that," Barry stressed. "That's the deal, remember? Tutoring for a _fake_ relationship."

Caitlin nodded her head slowly.

"Look," Barry said, scratching the back of his head in a way that would have made her every girl in the near vicinity swoon, "you want to be a scientist... doctor… smart person, right? So let's think about this scientifically."

Barry scrunched his eyebrows together in thought and then continued, "Let's say we look at this like an experiment. It can either go right or wrong. Hopefully it goes right. In an experiment, the first step is to form a basic hypothesis using…" he trailed off, gesturing with his hands to allow Caitlin to continue his statement.

At her silence he rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Come on, Caitlin! We learned this in like fifth grade biology."

"We form a basic hypothesis using 'If-Then statements'," Caitlin concluded resignedly. She played with her fingers nervously, just realizing how sweaty they had become.

"That's right, my star pupil!" Barry clapped his hands together. "I will come up with the first hypothesis, ready?"

Caitlin simply gave him an annoyed look.

"Just trust me. Okay, my very official and very scientific hypothesis is that IF I fake date Caitlin Snow and be the perfect pretend boyfriend, THEN Iris West will realize I am more than just best friend material and that I am actually really good boyfriend material!" Barry finished using insane and wild hand gestures.

Caitlin let out a small laugh and Barry pointed to her as if handing her the mike. "Now your turn, sweetest fake bae."

"Alright." Caitlin lifted her head to the sky in thought. "Uhm, IF I fake date Barry Allen and convince Iris West that I am apparently in love with her stalker—"

"Hey!"

"THEN I will be able to bring my grades up through the benefit of one-on-one assistance, i.e. tutoring."

"Did you really just say i.e. out loud?"

"It's the Latin abbreviation for 'id est' meaning 'in other words'."

"Nerd."

"Stalker."

"I am not a stalker!"

"Whatever you say, stalker." Caitlin grinned.

"Fine, whatever. Do you feel better now that we have officially made it science-y?"

"Yeah, I guess a little bit." She shrugged. Her heartbeat was still beating faster than normal at the thought of walking into the class with people staring at her. Her with Barry freaking Allen. She would have to face Ronnie. What if nobody believed them? She would be the talk of the whole campus! Caitlin's pulse raced even higher.

"I know this is weird and it might be hard for you. When we walk into class, you don't have to say anything. Just hold my hand, alright?"

Barry held out his hand and Caitlin linked hers with his.

Suddenly, she felt her heartbeat slow down to its normal speed. It wasn't love at first touch or anything, but it felt… nice and even reassuring. It wasn't like lightning filled the sky and the heavens opened or anything, but Caitlin felt a tiny spark.

Sparks flew.

Ah, geez. Her life better not turn into a Taylor Swift song.

Barry led her to the door. He didn't ask if she was ready because he knew her answer. Instead, he pulled her in, like ripping a bandage off, quick and easy. Yeah, great way to talk about the beginning of a fake relationship.

It turned out, they were late to class. Guess that's what happens when you have a mental breakdown about the logistics of your altruistic deal. Time still goes by.

As they entered, all heads swiveled to look at Central City University's hottest new couple.

"Mr. Allen, Ms. Snow," the professor announced loudly. "Please take your seats and next time don't be late. Otherwise, you will have to face severe consequences."

"Yes, ma'am," Barry smoothly replied. "Caitlin was just feeling a bit under the weather, so I was making sure she was okay."

The lie glided out of his mouth as smooth as silk and everyone believed him. Caitlin's ashen face and nervous sweat sealed the deal.

"Fine, but next time have a pass from the nurse before coming to class late." The professor returned to her lesson and Barry and Caitlin searched for their seats.

Caitlin realized her hand was still tightly grasping Barry's for support and she shook herself free. "Way to throw me 'under the weather' bus," Caitlin grumbled.

"It got us out of trouble, didn't it?" Barry grinned when she did not have a comeback.

Both Iris and Ronnie were in the class.

Ronnie gazed up from the sheet he was doodling on and stared at the "couple" before resignedly turning back to his doodling.

Not exactly the reaction Caitlin wanted, but at least he noticed?

Iris, on the other hand, did not stop staring. Her face was hard to read. Was she happy? Panicked? Elated? Angry?

Maybe a mix of everything.

Caitlin took her usual seat next to Cisco Ramon and watched Barry walk farther up the steps, even further in the back, towards Iris and the rest of the popular people.

Huh, she didn't even realize Barry was in her class till today. Guess she was too caught up in Ronnie, who was once again sitting two seats ahead of her, not even acknowledging her and her stupid "boyfriend."

"Hey," Cisco whispered to Caitlin, quietly so the professor would ignore them. They were closer to the back of the lecture hall, so their voices did not carry as much.

"Hey," Caitlin replied as she turned back towards the lecture, her pencil in hand and her notebook at the ready. She was in a class where she wasn't failing and she was going to make sure it stayed that way. However, Cisco's eyes boring into the side of her head was too much of a distraction for her to concentrate.

"What is it, Cisco?" she asked, annoyance apparent in her voice.

"Barry Allen?" Cisco questioned, his eyes darted back and forth between the two of them. "Barry 'the Flash' Allen is your rebound guy?"

"Yes… I mean, no!" Caitlin stumbled through her words, her grip on the pencil tightened. "He's not my rebound or anything."

"But you guys are together? You're sleeping with him?"

"What? How did you— How could you possibly—"

"I just got a vibe," he joked.

At Caitlin's eye roll, Cisco explained further, "Everyone just saw you guys acting all couple-y. He held the door for you. He was with you when you weren't feeling well. If this was a rom-com, he probably held your hair back while you were puking your guts out and you would confess your love to him right then and there."

"I wasn't that under the weather," Caitlin muttered. _Or that delusional._

"Plus, you were holding hands as you walked in," Cisco added.

"Yes we were," Caitlin confirmed.

 _We were holding hands_ , she thought. That was a fact. There were no lies there.

"So, are you guys together?" Cisco asked with bated breath.

Caitlin paused, carefully choosing her next words. "Well, what do you think?"

A genuine question. There are absolutely no wrong answers… except maybe one.

Cisco grinned. "Nice going, Caitlin. Barry is a great guy. He is super kind and sweet. Really smart and athletic…"

Caitlin stopped listening after that, her mind going into panic. How was she going to keep up the lie? She didn't lie in this situation. She just guided Cisco to a certain outcome and he jumped to the wrong conclusion. All on his own! And Caitlin just so happened to let him believe it. Technically... _technically,_ she didn't lie.

Who was she kidding? She definitely just lied to one of her only friends. How could she do that? Especially to her friends! It's not like she had many friends to begin with, but… she couldn't lie to them like that.

She shook her head, trying to get the bad thoughts out.

She tuned back in to Cisco still continuing to compliment everything about Barry. "You seem to admire Barry a lot. You sure you don't want to date him?" Caitlin teased.

Cisco scoffed. "I'm just happy for you! Although, I am also a little surprised. I thought he would never get over Iris. But look at you, you made him get over her!"

Or she just fueled the fires of his obsession, but whatever. No biggie.

She gave Cisco a tight lipped smile and nodded her head.

She can do this. She can definitely do this.

Suddenly, Cisco turned around and gave Barry a thumbs up.

Caitlin, completely appalled, grabbed Cisco's arm and pulled it down.

"Seriously?" she sniped.

"What?" Cisco joked. "Just giving the man my approval."

Caitlin flushed beet red and put her head on her desk, her arms covering her.

She didn't turn around to look, but she could feel Barry's gaze at the back of her neck. She could feel his smile, his grin, his smirk.

But she didn't turn around.

When the professor finally decided to dismiss the class, Barry rushed over to Caitlin and grabbed her hand.

Caitlin would have snatched it right back if she didn't kinda, maybe, just a teensy-weensy tiny bit like the feeling of his hands in hers.

Iris slowly walked down the stairs to join them and Caitlin waited with cautious expectations.

This was the moment they had all been waiting for.

What would Iris say?

Maybe she could declare her undying love for Barry right then and there so they could stop with the whole façade.

"Congratulations!" Iris exclaimed when she finally reached them.

Alas, the fates were so very cruel.

"Barry, I thought you would never get a girlfriend, yet here you are." Iris's grin could not get any wider even if she tried.

Iris turned towards Caitlin and said, "You know, I've been trying to set him up with a bunch of my friends for ages, but he never liked any of them." Barry's grip on Caitlin tightened as his fingers fidgeted and twisted is her grasp.

"Really?" _I wonder why, oh beautiful and wonderful Iris, perhaps it had something to do with him being head over heels in love with you?_

Caitlin took a second to calm her sarcastic thoughts. None of this was technically Iris's fault. It was her grades that was her problem and it was Barry's stupid feelings that was his problems and now, Iris was simply caught in the middle of it.

"Yeah." Iris looked at the both of them. "Well, I'm gonna leave you two lovebirds alone now."

"Eeeep!" Iris playfully hit Barry on the shoulder. "I'm so happy for you! And Caitlin, I know you are absolutely gonna love Barry as much as I do! He's like my brother, so don't go breaking his heart," she joked.

Barry had the smile of a man who had just been stabbed, which he kinda was… in the heart. The brother card... Oof, that's gotta hurt.

With that, Iris turned and left with a handsome blond, Eddie, who was waiting for her at the door. He wrapped his arm around her waist while she leaned her head towards his chest, and together they walked out of the room, leaving Barry to wistfully watch them go.

"Oh, yeah. She definitely seemed heartbroken that you're taken." Caitlin started to make her way to the door as well.

"Shut up," Barry grumbled, his finger twitching under her hold. The sunlight hit their face as they left, allowing more people to view their new arrangement, sorry, relationship.

The students whispered as they passed by. Rumors of Barry Allen, the star runner, and his unknown lover. A sea of people parted as they walked by, staring in reverence of the King and his new Queen.

Caitlin laughed as she took in her new and improved status at Central City University. "Too late to turn back now. I think I can get used to this fake relationship." She was so used to pushing her way around the slow walkers and hungover students, it was nice that they all let her walk with no problem.

"Really?" Barry asked with a smirk. "Cause people in relationships play with each other... like this!"

Before Caitlin could register what Barry meant, he grabbed her waist from behind and spun her around.

"Barry!" Caitlin laughed as she held onto Barry for dear life. "Put me down!"

After a couple of spins, Caitlin felt solid ground beneath her feet. It had been a while since Caitlin was held like that. Since she had fun doing things that other couples did. She would never admit it out-loud, but she missed romance.

"Barry." Caitlin gasped for air after laughing so hard. "Iris wasn't even there to see it."

"No," Barry agreed, smiling as he watched Caitlin wobbling slightly from dizziness. "Just practicing."

Caitlin softly shoved him and then pulled him close intertwining their hands, her head leaning into the side of his arm. The most wonderful little nook.

"I'm just practicing too," she retorted gently.

"You know what they say," Barry said as they made their way to her apartment complex. "Practice makes perfect."

Caitlin shuddered at his words. A nervous wave passing through her briefly. _We'll see how far practice takes us_ , she thought to herself.


	3. Therefore I Am Descartes

**Solipsism: The view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.**

* * *

Barry held Caitlin's hand the whole way back to her apartment. His hands were very warm, starkly contrasting with her forever freezing hands. It felt nice and comfy, until suddenly Barry's arms became very rigid and straight and he walked without bending his knees while making weird techno noises.

"What are you doing?" Caitlin asked, amused.

"Walking like a robot," Barry stated casually.

Caitlin raised her eyebrows. "And why are you walking like a robot?"

"Do you ever feel like a robot?"

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?"

This time Barry was the one to raise his eyebrows so Caitlin clarified, "Katy Perry."

"Yeah, no, I got that."

"To answer your question: no. I don't feel like a robot, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only human and everyone around me are robots placed in my life to make it seem real. But really, it's all in my head and when I leave the room, the world just shuts down."

Barry didn't even comment on the absurdity of her comment, but rather asked for clarification, "How would you explain the news and things you hear about the lives of celebrities and—"

"Fake. All of it."

"Fake news," Barry joked.

"Seriously! I've actually thought about this a lot! What if you're not real and you're just here because I think you're here?"

"I feel pretty real to me."

"But only because I think that you think that you feel real."

"What?"

"Exactly! I confused myself," Caitlin announced, swinging both their arms up to the sky.

"No, you confused me."

"But I am you. Everything is me."

"Hey, I didn't agree to be in an all Caitlin world!" Barry joked, "And if this is all in your head and you created it. Why does it suck? And why do I have memories of myself that you have never been in?"

"I don't know why it sucks... Maybe I'm just a pessimistic person." Caitlin shrugged.

"That I can believe."

"Hey! And maybe you really don't have memories and the only reason you're saying you have memories is because you are talking to me and it helps further my life."

"Your plotline!"

"My what?"

"What if life is like a TV show! And we are all just main characters or side characters and—"

"That's brilliant! And it actually fits my theory." Caitlin was getting excited, she had never told anyone her crazy theories and when she did, they all looked at her like she was, well… crazy.

"And whenever we have a memory, it's just a flashback sequence!" Barry was bouncing lightly from his television universe theory.

"So I'm the main character of my TV show!" Caitlin exclaimed.

"Maybe it's my TV show," Barry challenged, a grin on his face.

"Oh, please. My life is way more interesting than yours and even if you were the main character, people would only watch the show for me. I'd totally Han Solo your ass."

"Hey, if I'm Luke Skywalker in this hypothetical television universe, that's fine by me."

"So you're a lonely guy with a thing for his sister?"

Barry gave her an annoyed look. "Iris is _not_ my sister!"

Caitlin laughed. "I was just kidding, geez. And I certainly did not mention Iris. You did that yourself."

Barry scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, I just hear that a lot. Especially from Iris. 'Barry! You're like my little brother!'" Barry imitated in a high pitch voice. "We're literally the same age!"

Caitlin stifled a laugh. "Speaking of, how did you even get this wack-a-doo idea to get a fake girlfriend to impress Iris anyway?"

"I was roaming through Netflix and I watched the movie, _To All the Boys I've Loved Before_."

"The rom-com?"

"Yeah, it was actually pretty good. Plus, I don't have much of a social life and it had good reviews."

"Huh."

"I can't believe you haven't seen it."

Caitlin shrugged. "Oh no, I've seen it. I just never expected you to have seen it or even be into romantic comedies."

"Are you serious? They're so great!"

"So you got the fake dating idea from the movie where the two fake dating characters end up together."

"Yeah, but we're not in a romantic comedy, are we?"

"No, I'd guess our TV show slash movie would be more of an action-comedy of sorts," Caitlin quipped.

"True. Also," Barry continued, "Peter Kavinsky's ex is horrible and a bully. Iris is perfect. Don't worry, Cait," Barry said, pulling her in front of him. Caitlin didn't even realize they had reached her apartment. "I will never fall in love with you, fake girlfriend."

"Right back at ya, fake boyfriend," and with that, Caitlin walked towards her apartment complex as Barry followed.

"Woah, there." She turned around and put one hand on Barry's chest. "You, sir, are not coming anywhere near this building. My roommate is in there and she cannot know a single thing about this fake whatever. We need to keep this whole thing as secretive as possible."

Barry saluted. "Yes, ma'am. I'll see you tonight for our first tutoring session. Bye, Cait!"

"Bye, Barry." Caitlin tilted her head slightly to the side as she watched Barry walk away.

He called her Cait.

A whole bunch of times… and she didn't even notice.

She never let anyone call her 'Cait' unless she was really close to them.

As Caitlin walked up the stairs to her floor, she couldn't help but wonder about the way the nickname somehow just came naturally to him.

Like he was the only person who could ever call her that.

Caitlin bit her lower lip as she put the key into the locked door of her apartment. As much as she didn't want to, she really did like it when he called her 'Cait'.

Caitlin shook her head free of those thoughts. _It's not real_ , she thought, _Both the relationship and Barry. Yep, he's just a robot that powered down after I left. This is my TV show._

Caitlin had a small smile remembering their recent conversation. Maybe she was just overthinking things.

Anyway, it was all over now for a little bit. Caitlin pushed the door open, she didn't have to be anyone's fake girlfriend for a while now…

"YOU'RE DATING BARRY ALLEN?"

Caitlin groaned and fell face first into the couch. "Felicity. How'd you find out so quickly? Who told you?"

"A tech whiz never shares her secrets!" the hyper blonde remarked, waving around her phone.

"It was Cisco, wasn't it?"

Felicity wisely chose not to answer that question and instead said, "Don't ever hesitate about coming to me for advice. I'll be your relationship Yoda!"

"Felicity, it's really not that big of a deal. We're just taking things low-key."

Caitlin felt bad for lying to Felicity.

"But you? You're dating Barry Allen?" Felicity sounded incredulous her voice getting higher and higher. "The Barry Allen?"

"Why do you sound so surprised? I can date people if I want to."

"But this is Barry Allen we're talking about. Do you know how lucky you are?"

"Aren't you dating, I don't know, Oliver Queen?" Caitlin sarcastically asked.

Felicity decided to ignore Caitlin's jab and she continued, "Apparently a million girls have asked him out and he's rejected all of them!"

"Really now?" Caitlin quirked her mouth skeptically, she sensed Felicity was getting into her crazy rant mode.

"Oh, yeah. I heard he rejected Linda, Patty… even Iris!"

Caitlin snorted at that. "He wishes he could have rejected Iris and I'm pretty sure he's briefly dated both Linda and Patty."

"Aww! You guys have gotten into your playful teasing stage already! So cute!"

"Yep! That's what it is." Caitlin forced a smile on her face, but even Felicity saw through the paper thin facade.

"Hey," she said, sitting next to Caitlin on the couch, "don't worry or be jealous or anything." She put her elbow on the top of the couch and rested her palm on her cheek.

 _Yeah_ , Caitlin thought, _that's the problem_.

"I mean, there were plenty of girls he could have chosen, but he chose you. Wait, who asked who out? Give me all the details," Felicity said, clapping her hands in anticipation. "Oh wait, who am I kidding? It was definitely Barry who asked you out."

"Excuse you!" Caitlin protested. "I could totally ask someone out!"

"Uh huh. And did you?"

"As a matter of fact, I did."

Felicity squealed. "Caitlin, you badass!" She jumped across the couch and hugged the brunette.

"Can't. Breathe."

"I didn't know you had it in you."

"Me neither," Caitlin muttered, and she wasn't kidding either.

"Hey, listen." Felicity checked her watch. "I need to get to work, but tell me everything later, okay?"

Felicity got up and grabbed her purse as Caitlin nodded.

"Stay in school and don't do drugs!" Felicity exclaimed as she opened the door to leave.

"No drugs _and_ I have to stay in school? Why, mom, why?" Caitlin fake whined.

"Fine, you can stay in drugs and don't do school, but only on the weekends!" Felicity closed the door when she heard Caitlin chortle.

As soon as Caitlin heard the door click to lock, she released out a loud breath and let her face fall back on a pillow. This lie was going to kill her.

Reaching for her laptop on the coffee table, Caitlin opened up the screen and began typing rapidly.

Inspired by a certain Netflix movie, Caitlin was creating a rulebook for Barry. A contract for their agreement.

" _Rule 12_ ," Caitlin muttered to herself as she typed away. " _No kissing._ Period," she slammed the period button hard in emphasis.

Caitlin pursed her lips and then decided to add a footnote: _No kissing, but forehead and cheek kisses are permitted._

Caitlin paused again and then decided to add: _In low doses_.

A few hours later, Caitlin had her polished and pristine final draft of the Relationship Agreement printed and stapled. Yes, there were enough pages that it had to be stapled.

These were all the rules Barry had to follow in order for this relationship to work. Lines cannot be crossed and Caitlin was sure to find every single problem that could come up in the near future and made a rule about how to deal with it.

For example, if parents came and visited, Rule 72 stated that _fake partners must not meet the other's parents. Refer back to Rule 28 in which no one must know about this contract outside this campus._

While she was creating her rulebook, Caitlin failed to notice the time and realized she was late for tutoring with Barry.

Holding onto her contract and stuffing her notebooks, pencils, and textbook into her backpack, Caitlin quickly left a note for Felicity telling her where she was going to be and ran out the door towards the library.

When she arrived, completely out of breath, she noticed that Barry was just running up to the library as well, albeit less out of breath than she (him being a track star and all).

"Solipsism," Barry said as he made his way towards Caitlin.

Caitlin, still breathing heavily from her run, put both her hands on her knees as she bent over. "What?"

Barry took her backpack from her and swung it over his shoulders so she would have less things to carry and they both walked into the library. "It's what we were talking about before. You really got in my head and so I had to go home and research it."

"Nerd." Caitlin grinned; she couldn't believe that Barry had actually taken her theory seriously.

"Solipsism! It's a whole philosophical theory that you can't really be sure of anyone else's existence but yourself because everything around you could just be a figment of your own consciousness. We can only know we exist because we are the only thing that is certain."

"'Cogito ergo sum,'" Caitlin quoted in Latin.

"'I think; therefore I am.' Exactly!" Barry broadcasted wildly.

"Descartes said that," Caitlin said, as she and Barry searched for an empty table to work on.

"That was his whole thing!" Barry exclaimed as the librarian glared at him. "He was the start of solipsism. His whole idea about the inner mind versus the external world, subjectivity versus objectivity—"

"The Cartesian self, that's right!" Caitlin agreed loudly.

"Shhhh!" the librarian reprimanded.

Caitlin blushed. "Maybe we should find a table outside."

Barry agreed, "The weather is pretty nice… unless it's all in our heads and that's how we view the weather and what if weather doesn't even exist!"

"Solipsism! Wow, I can't believe that that's an actual thing."

"I mean, it's widely disfavored in the world of psychology, but try and refute it," Barry challenged.

"You can't! Huh..." Caitlin let out a huff of breath, as she and Barry finally found a nice bench right outside the library.

As they both sat down Barry commented, "That's kind of sad and even kind of scary to think about though. You and you alone are the only person in existence? Sounds lonely."

"Yeah," Caitlin said, "But I must have a pretty wild imagination if this is the life I came up for myself."

"Or pretty boring, we're literally going to study now. Is this the crazy life you dreamed for yourself?" Barry countered.

"Oh please, it's not like I can just suddenly get superpowers and become a villain out of a comic book."

"But why not? If it's all in your head?"

"I guess I don't have control over my own consciousness," Caitlin surmised.

"That's even scarier." Barry shuddered at the thought.

They both sat in silence for a few seconds.

"And now onto biology we go!" Barry announced.

Caitlin giggled softly. "Okay, but before that, I have something to give you."

Caitlin reached into her backpack and began rummaging around.

"Oo, a present from my fake girlfriend already." Barry touched his fingers together in anticipation. "I wonder what it is."

When Caitlin handed him a stack of papers, he stared at her questioningly, eyebrows raised.

"It's a book of rules for our fake relationship. Our Relationship Agreement," Caitlin clarified.

"Ah, it's really big," Barry commented, seeing the size of the book. He played around with it for a little bit, checking how heavy it was and how thick, before he turned to the first page and began reading the rules.

"Rule numero uno," Barry read aloud, " _This relationship must be fake and always fake_. Well, duh."

"Hey, I'm just making sure we have all our grounds covered. We can't have any slip-ups, Peter Kavinsky."

"True, true. Okay, rule dos: _all our made up romantic stories and timelines have to match up_."

"Oh, yeah. About that." Caitlin scrunched her face up sheepishly. "I may have kind of told Felicity that I was the one who asked you out."

"You what? That was supposed to be me!"

Caitlin looked affronted. "I'm sorry, is your poor masculine pride hurt?"

"My masculine pride? Technically, I was the one who asked you out!" Barry asserted.

"Technically, you were the one who fake asked me out. Would you like me to tell her the truth?"

"Touché, Snow, touché," Barry tousled his hair with one hand and used the other to flip through the huge contract.

"It's okay, me asking you out might make you seem more desirable," Caitlin offered.

Barry scoffed. "I'm plenty desirable on my own, thank you very much."

"Mm." Caitlin pursed her lips. "Which is why you had to fake ask me out, right?"

"Ouch." Barry put a hand on his heart and leaned back. "I think you hurt my poor masculine pride."

"I'm sorry, would you like a manly band aid?" Caitlin and Barry grinned at each other before Barry turned back to the rule agreement.

"Rule 3—"

"What, no more Español?" Caitlin asked.

"I took Spanish in like sixth grade, I can't remember that far back."

"It's tres," Caitlin supplied helpfully.

"Fine, rule _tres_ ," Barry emphasized. " _No talking about Iris in front of other people. Note: They might get suspicious._ "

Barry nodded his head. "That's true. We should come up with code names for Iris and like different situations!"

"Huh?"

"Like if we're around Iris and I want us to be more cutesy and stuff, I could say 'fries' and that could be code for 'put your arm around me' and 'turtle' could be 'play with my hair' and stuff like that."

"Because fries and turtles are so easy to bring up in casual conversation."

"And Iris's codename could be 'Compass' cause her last name is West!"

"Wow," Caitlin sarcastically stretched the word out. "So creative. But if we're going to have code words for amping up the romance, we need to have a code word to tone down the romance too. You can't be seen as too clingy and weird."

"So, like a safe word?"

"Yes, I guess if you want to be BDSM about it. Maybe the word, 'tree'. If I say a 'tree', that means tone down the creepy boyfriend vibe."

"I am not a creepy boyfriend!"

"Not yet you're not. You're not dating Iris— oh, sorry— Compass yet." Caitlin had a devilish grin on her face.

"Barry! Caitlin!" a voice interrupted their musings.

The two of them leaned back and looked up, surprised by how close their faces were to each other, to see Cisco walking towards them.

He sat next to Barry and across from Caitlin on the bench. "What are you two doing here?" he asked.

"Studying," Barry said, gesturing to the books. The books that weren't even open yet. Oops. Caitlin hoped that Cisco wouldn't notice that.

"Together?" Cisco laughed as he realized, "Cause you two are dating!" He nudged the both of them, having to reach across the bench to poke Caitlin. "I didn't know you guys liked each other. In fact, I didn't even know you guys knew each other or talked to each other!"

"I asked him out," Caitlin lied. They were going to stick by that story.

"Wow, I never thought Caitlin would ever ask anyone out," Cisco commented.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? I could totally ask someone out! I could do it right now!"

"Well, you can't anymore," Barry said, smiling awkwardly. "Cause you're dating me, remember?"

"Oh," Caitlin realized, "right. But I could though, ask someone out, and I did, you know," Caitlin gestured wildly, "with Barry."

Barry hid a soft snort and Caitlin glared at him while Cisco wasn't looking.

"Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone," Cisco said, standing up again.

He didn't seem to notice anything wrong or awkward with the two of them, in fact he seemed to be beaming.

"My two best friends together. You guys are actually so perfect for each other! I'm glad you two found each other."

"Thanks, Cisco," Barry said, softly.

Caitlin noticed he looked slightly guilty. Maybe lying to his friends was eating Barry up just as much as it was eating her up.

"We'll see you around, Cisco," Caitlin said, jumping in for Barry.

"Bye guys!" Cisco waved until he walked through the doors of the library.

When Cisco was out of hearing range, Caitlin turned to Barry. "You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just that… he seems so happy that you and I are together and he never really liked, in fact he hated, the fact that I am in love with Iris and I hang out with all her friends. I just hope he will be okay when the two of us aren't together anymore and I am with Iris."

Caitlin took in a deep breath. "Well, Barry. We are not divorcing parents worrying about our five year old child. Cisco can take care of himself and it's not like we will actually breakup, since this relationship isn't even real, and it's not like we'll never speak to each other again or hate each other. He'll still have his friends."

"Yeah." Barry smiled. "You're right. Now back to the rules."

He flipped through the pages rapidly skimming the many, many rules and regulations. "There are too many, Cait!" He whined, "Hey, rule 12 says no kissing!"

"It says no kissing on the lips, but kisses on cheeks and foreheads are okay, read the footnotes!" Caitlin revealed.

Barry looked up from flipping through the book. "Holy shit. Footnotes and everything. You weren't kidding about this whole rulebook thing."

"I don't kid, Barry Allen. At least I don't kid when it comes to things like my education. I have to work for it. Just because you might have filthy rich parents who hand everything to you on a silver platter, doesn't mean everyone—"

"What makes you think I have 'filthy rich parents'?" Barry asked. He sounded insulted and even a tiny bit hurt.

"Nothing, I just—"

"Look, I just remembered that I actually have to be somewhere, so I have to cut our little meeting short."

"But we didn't even get to the actual tutoring part," Caitlin protested, but Barry wasn't listening.

"Thanks for the Rule Agreement." He waved the book. "Can we meet another time? I have to go."

But before she could answer, he was gone.

Caitlin ran her hand through her hair. What the hell just happened?

While she walked home, Caitlin contemplated everything she said. Why did he get so offended when she assumed he had filthy rich parents? She was only joking, kind of. This university was very prestigious and only the best of the best were granted entry, or they just had super rich parents to bribe them in. The group of friends that Barry hung out with... yup, they were the filthy rich, elitist squad. It was only safe of Caitlin to assume that Barry was like them too, but from his reaction, Caitlin had to rethink all her assumptions about Barry.

When she finally got to her apartment, she went to her computer and searched "Barry Allen family."

And my, oh, my, was there a whole lot of google searches and articles that popped up.

That night, she read up on all she could about Barry Allen and learned everything the internet could provide about him. On his mother and how she was murdered in her own home, and on his father and how he was in jail, accused of the actual murder. She read about how little Barry insisted that it wasn't his father who murdered Nora Allen and that there was someone else there in the house, but every single reporter, every single detective, officer, psychologist, neighbor— they all insisted that Barry was led by some sad delusion where his father wasn't a murderer. Nobody believed him.

No wonder Barry left after the insensitive comment she made about his parents. God, she was such an idiot.

Caitlin suddenly remembered hearing those rumors about Barry and his parents when they were both freshman and new to Central City University, but any negativity and bullying towards Barry about his "psycho family" subsided when Barry proved his speed as a track athlete and Iris and her elitist gang of friends took him under their wings. Caitlin never really believed the rumors or cared enough to look them up until now.

Pacing around her room, Caitlin dialed Barry's number on her phone and tried to call him. Straight to voicemail. Of course.

Then, she tried texting him, _hey._

He didn't reply, and she didn't really expect him to, so she continued, _I'm really sorry for what I said and I hope I can make it up to you. I promise I'll still be your fake gf, but you don't have to be my tutor. Again, I'm really, really sorry and I hope you can forgive me._ Caitlin added a prayer hands emoji at the end of her apology text to show that she was begging for forgiveness and pressed send.

A few seconds after sending, Caitlin saw the bubbles on her phone indicating that Barry saw her text and was replying back. She waited with bated breath.

 _Lol, you ramble a lot_ , Barry finally replied, _Even over text. Don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault. I overreacted. And you can't be my fake bae without me being your tutor. That's not how reciprocal altruism works! You have a lot to learn about biology, my fake girlfriend protégée._ Barry added a laughing emoji at the end.

Caitlin leaned her head back against the pillow and smiled taking that text as a sign of forgiveness. She texted back, _It's not like we got a lot of learning done today anyway._ She sent a gif of person slamming their head against a book.

 _We'll work extra hard tomorrow,_ Barry sent back. He added a thumbs up emoji and a gif of a cat typing rapidly on a laptop.

 _lolol!_ Caitlin put in a laughing face emoji.

_So if the theory of solipsism applies, am I really texting you? Or are you texting yourself? Hmmm…_

_My head is hurting from all this psychology,_ she typed back.

 _You were the one who came up with the theory!_ Barry protested over text.

_Is my name Descartes?_

_Are you Descartes?_ Barry teased.

 _*gasp*_ Caitlin typed, _You've discovered my secret identity._

Caitlin waited a few minutes, but Barry didn't reply back.

Slightly saddened by the lack of Barry and his wonderfully chosen gifs, Caitlin put her phone away, until it suddenly started ringing.

"Hello?" she answered.

"But if you are your own person and there's nothing outside the existence of you, aren't you technically Descartes?" a voice questioned on the other end of the line.

"Barry!" Caitlin beamed in bright happiness, but tried to make her voice sound exasperated.

"What? I need to know!"

They spent the whole night talking about crazy philosophical theories and how they would create their own TV shows.

Barry wanted his TV show to be about a superhero that could run really fast. Oh please, like people would actually watch that.

Somewhere in the middle of their conversation, things took a turn for the serious as Barry said darkly, "He didn't do it."

Caitlin didn't speak. She knew what he was talking about, but she didn't know what to say.

"My dad," he continued, "he didn't kill my mom. Someone else did. I know it."

Caitlin paused for a few moments and listened to Barry breathing on the other line until finally, "I believe you."

"You do?" Barry sounded surprised, as if no one had ever said that to him. They probably never had.

"Of course. And when you get your forensics major and graduate from here and get a job as a forensic scientist for the CCPD, I know you will be able to find the truth about your dad and prove them all wrong."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Caitlin stated firmly.

They talked and talked and before they knew it, they had both fallen asleep while still on the phone with each other. Her phone bill was going to kill her.

The next morning, Caitlin was determined to make up for whatever she had said to Barry that previous day that had hurt him.

She was going to be the best fake girlfriend in the history of fake girlfriends, but she hoped its history was short because she had no experience whatsoever in that field of expertise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would ask for you all to comment your thoughts on this chapter... but what if they are all my own thoughts, hmmm?


	4. Life Coach/Tutor/Therapist

**Foundation: A basis upon which something stands or is supported.**

* * *

A few days had passed and Barry and Caitlin had begun to fall into a sort of comfortable schedule.

They would plan a tutor date. They would set a time and place (usually at their bench outside the library). Barry would show up an hour late. Caitlin would yell at him. They studied. They would plan the next tutor date.

The cycle went on and on.

This time seemed like all the others, except while Barry ran at the speed of lightning to get to their study spot, Caitlin was nowhere to be found.

Luckily, Barry only had to wait a few minutes before she arrived.

Caitlin casually walked up to the bench and sat down, ready to study.

"I'm here earlier than you for once," Barry declared proudly.

Caitlin looked at him with exasperation, "No, I just told you to come an hour earlier so we would get here at the same time."

"Huh," Barry scratched the back of his head, "That's smart. I should probably work on getting here on time."

"And the trophy for understatement of the year goes to… Captain Obvious!" Caitlin announced with sarcastic flare.

"Alright, I get it, I get it. It's just, I can never be on time for anything. I even missed my final for my physics class because I thought it was two hours later than it actually was."

"You have a phone, right?" Caitlin waved her phone in Barry's face to capture his attention. "Alarms and notifications are a lifesaver."

"Duly noted, now it's time for me to be your life coach instead of the other way around."

"You're tutoring me, not teaching me how to eat healthy and be my better self," Caitlin remarked.

"Biology is a life science, isn't it?"

"You're a life science," Caitlin muttered as she flipped through the textbook looking for the parts she was struggling with.

"Great comeback," Barry chuckled, "I feel truly burned."

"Just tutor me already, Life Coach!"

As the two of them began immersed in their study, Caitlin was getting bored. Everything honestly seemed too easy. Like Barry was giving her all the easy questions.

But Caitlin wondered if maybe it was just her. She had always been a science geek. Everything about science fascinated her from the anatomy of the body to the physics behind space. She wanted to know everything about everything and was pretty good at knowing it too.

She used to be in Professor Wells's class, and while she was in his class, she was at the top and no one else came close to her talent. She had an innate talent for Biotech and was amazing at what she did. And she was proud of herself too.

When she transferred to Professor Stein's class, everything took a turn for the worse. She transferred in the middle of the semester, she struggled to adjust to the newer curriculum, and on top of all that, it didn't help that her ex-boyfriend, Ronnie, was smack dab in the middle of it all and the teacher's pet.

Her first day of class, she had a pop quiz that actually turned out to be a major exam. Most teachers (most sane teachers, that is), would have let Caitlin study for a day or two before taking on the monstrosity of an exam, but Stein being the professor he was, told Caitlin she had to take it that day or get a zero.

Caitlin might as well have taken the zero because she ended up bombing that test so badly, when Professor Stein announced the grades (in front of everyone, because that was the kind of teacher he was), he ended up publicly humiliating her, as everyone laughed when they heard her grade. They might not have laughed and jeered the way she imagined in her head, because she replayed the scenario so much in her head that it got worse and worse every time, but it was enough humiliation that she studied and studied so much for every test and quiz, but every time the thick, stapled paper was placed in front of her, she forgot everything.

Her palms would get sweaty, her heart would beat faster, and her vision would blur. When she put the pencil to the paper, her hand would shake so much, she could barely write her first name. Every test, one after the other, led to more and more failing grades, and Caitlin struggled to catch up to the others.

Barry asked her why she struggled so much on the exams when she knew the information, and Caitlin told him about her first test taking experience in that class.

"That's a load of bull," Barry protested, "First of all, it was Stein's fault for making you take a test the first day in his class when you had never learned the material before. And secondly, I'm sure no one was laughing at you because there are people in the class doing way worse than you. Trust me. We're all in the same boat. No one is judging you for your grades. Stein's just the worst for announcing our grades in front of everyone, but at least it gives us a sense of comradery if we all fail together," Barry grinned, "except for those dicks who always get A's."

"I want to be that dick who gets an A," Caitlin whined, "I mean this is what I want to do for a living. I love Biotech, but I just need my grades to go up."

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you know the information, but you just have severe test anxiety? It's a real thing," Barry said, "But I can't be the one to help you with that, you're gonna have to see a therapist."

Caitlin groaned. "I can't afford that!"

Barry scrunched his eyebrows in thought, "Okay, okay. I'm not claiming to be a professional or anything, but maybe I can help you with that a little bit. I mean, I still want to tutor you, which I guess isn't really tutoring any more than just studying cause sometimes, I feel like I'm learning more from you than the other way around which—"

"You're ranting, Barry."

"Right, what I'm trying to say is, maybe if we keep studying and you see how much smarter you are than me and basically everyone in the class, we can build your confidence up and help you get over your test anxiety!"

"So you want to be my actual life coach slash tutor slash therapist?" Caitlin asked.

"Exactly," Barry confirmed.

"Hey as long as it's free." Caitlin shrugged. "Whatcha got for me, coach?"

"Well, as your therapist," Barry said, imitating pushing his invisible glasses up and holding up an imaginary notebook and pencil, "The first step is to admit you have a problem."

"Alright, I have severe test anxiety and my grades are suffering because of it," Caitlin stated quickly. "Now what?"

"That's all I got for the therapist part, I only know it from the movies," Barry answered, "I guess we move on to the studying part. I'll test you with flashcards."

"Great session, Barry. Hopefully, you're study skills are a little better."

They went back and forth for a while, Barry tossing out various biology terms while Caitlin spat out the answers in rapid fire mode.

Finally, Caitlin shouted out, "I know all of these, ask harder questions!"

"Those were hard questions, but fine." Barry put the flashcards down. "Would you rather have finger sized legs or leg sized fingers?"

"That's not even a biology question," Caitlin protested.

"Wrong answer. Would you rather never be able to lie or never be able to tell the truth?"

"Barry!"

"Wrong again! Man, you are not doing well on these practice tests."

"Those do not count." Caitlin crossed her arms.

"Well, what's your answer then?"

"I don't know, I have to think about it."

"Wrong again. Caitlin, you are so intelligent and smart. You're probably the best at biology than all of us in the class combined! You just lost your mojo somewhere along the road but you need to trust your gut. That's why we are starting from the basics and building your confidence up. Of course you know those answers! Now we move forward. Trust the life coach slash tutor slash therapist," Barry pointed to himself.

Caitlin couldn't help but be impressed and a little flattered, "You think I'm smart?"

"I mean, yeah. I thought we already went over that. Everyone saw you were at the top percentile in all your classes before this. You were doing so well in Wells's class and you didn't seem to have any test anxiety then, why did you drop out anyway?"

Caitlin bit her bottom lip, "Rule 18: No personal questions."

"Whatever, Caitlin."

"Hey, don't be rude. You just said I was intelligent! You think I'm smaaart!" Caitlin sang, "You know, as a science nerd, that is the highest of all compliments. You could have called me 'drop dead gorgeous' and it still wouldn't have had the same effect as you complimenting my brains."

Barry rolled his eyes but couldn't resist a smile. "Alright gorgeous," Barry teased her with the nickname, "Let's get back to studying. Which major group of macromolecular biomolecules represents enzymes?"

"Proteins, duh."

"Brilliant, _Doctor_ Snow, or should I say Doctor 'Drop Dead Gorgeous'." Barry said, winking.

Caitlin tilted her head and grinned. "Cute, but I'm not a doctor yet."

"It's not cute, I'm just predicting the future. I know you are going to be the best doctor out there and you'll care for all my injuries."

"And kiss all your boo-boos," Caitlin teased.

"I can only dream, Doctor."

Caitlin just scoffed and looked at the ground. "If you flirted half as much as you do with your fake girlfriend as you did with Iris, you two would probably be married by now."

"That's just the thing! I'm so awkward with her when I want to be romantic cause she only sees me as a friend."

"Actually her word was 'brother' but I see where you're coming from," Caitlin commented.

Barry just groaned and put his head on the bench table.

"Oh come on, Barry," Caitlin cajoled, "It's really not that bad. Look, we'll practice your flirting. Or we'll have you flirt with me when Iris is around so she'll see how dreamy and suave you can be. Turtle remember?"

She ran her hand through his hair and played with it for a little bit to remind him what the code word "turtle" meant.

"Turtle," Barry sighed, as his head still rested against the books on the table. He turned his head slightly so his cheek rested on the flat surface and the two of them sat in comfortable silence while Caitlin still had her hands in his hair until…

"Shit!" Barry looked at his watch. "Track practice started a half hour ago!"

"Late to everything as usual," Caitlin joked, "Run, Barry, run."

"See you tomorrow!" Barry called out as he threw his backpack around his shoulder and sprinted to his next location.

Caitlin chuckled to herself as she turned back to her notes.

Now that she was alone, she had more time to think and process everything.

Maybe Barry was right. She did know everything that was on the test and as she looked through older tests she realized she made the simplest mistakes that she could have easily fixed.

Granted, studying was also very important, but having confidence in oneself was almost just as important.

Caitlin had to work on that, and she felt that Barry could really help her with that. Plus, she would never admit it to his face, but she did enjoy the studying sessions with Barry. And plus plus, he owed it to her— him making her his fake girlfriend and all. And plus plus plus, it was probably helping Barry study too since he seemed to learn the material along with her. And plus plus plus plus…eh, she ran out of reasons.

Since Barry was gone, Caitlin decided to go over her old notes and rewrite them. Popping in her earbuds, Caitlin worked on the bench with the warm sun shining down on her.

As she worked, music blaring through her earbuds, she noticed a group of people pass her and sit at the table nearby. It was Iris and her squad of the popular crowd.

Caitlin was able to watch as Iris talked to her crowd, the people hanging on to every word that daintily fell off her lip as if it were gospel. Caitlin could definitely see why Barry was head over heels in love with her.

"Why are some people so _perfect_?" She muttered into her journal, pen bleeding harshly into paper as she redrew one chemical bond after another. She hated that word. She despised it. But, there was honestly no other way to describe her. Iris was _perfect_.

"Because they work hard and earn it," a voice interrupted her musings.

Caitlin turned her head to see a beautiful girl. She had dark brown hair and an oval face that looked like it was always smiling. She wore stylish clothing and held herself in such a manner that turned the heads of all the men wherever she went. She looked and acted like everything Caitlin wanted to be and wasn't.

When Caitlin didn't say anything the girl continued, "Hi, I'm Linda."

She held her hand out and Caitlin shook it. It felt like some kind of official business transaction.

"You're Barry's new girlfriend, right? Katy Cold?"

"Caitlin Snow." Caitlin corrected.

Linda laughed in a way that sounded like bell chimes. "I knew it had something to do with winter."

"Yep. That's me. Barry's girlfriend." Caitlin smiled, nervously chewing the bottom of her lip. "He's my boyfriend." The words sounded incredibly awkward coming from her mouth, she definitely had to get more used to that.

"You should consider yourself to be very lucky. Barry's a great guy." Linda smiled.

"Do you like him?" Caitlin asked and then winced at how blunt, rude, and possibly oblivious she sounded.

She remembered that Linda used to date Barry a little while ago. Maybe she still had feelings for him. Maybe she could be Barry's fake girlfriend instead of her! Although, Linda would probably not like being used by Barry if she genuinely had feelings for him… Good thing Caitlin couldn't relate. What was she thinking about again?

Linda laughed. "Me? Still like Barry? No way. You shouldn't be jealous. We dated for a while, but… I always got the feeling he was way too into Iris. Like obsessed."

At Caitlin's silence, Linda realized her mistake and corrected herself, "I mean, I'm sure he's not in love with Iris anymore."

She didn't sound very convincing. Caitlin tried not to enjoy watching Linda floundering so much.

Linda continued in an attempt to rectify her mistake, "But trust me, the moment we get back together is when... I don't know, you become a serial killer." Linda laughed again. "You're hilarious, Katy."

Caitlin faked a laugh and corrected her with a strained voice, "It's Caitlin."

Out of nowhere, Barry joined the table again and sat on the same side as Caitlin. Caitlin didn't realize how long she stayed at the table studying because a few hours had passed and Barry had finished track practice.

He seemed out of breath. "Caitlin, why are you still here? Hey, Linda," he nodded at Linda and gave a short wave.

"Hey, Barry." Linda smiled, so it seemed like there was really no hard feelings between the two. "Well, I better leave you two lovebirds alone."

As Linda left, Caitlin turned towards Barry and asked, "Why are people obsessed with calling us lovebirds?"

"Quick," Barry ignored her, "Iris is in the perfect shot, so do something romantic with me. Turtle! Turtle! Turtle!"

He tried to put his arm around her, but Caitlin shook him off. "Ew, no. You're sweaty and gross."

Barry looked offended. "Well, I did just come from track practice."

"And you didn't shower," Caitlin added with a tone of disgust.

"I saw Iris," Barry meekly stated.

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Here." She handed him one of her earbuds. "We'll listen to music together... That's romantic, right? Cause I'm not touching you."

"Not even for a little smoochy smoochy?" Barry comically puckered his lips and leaned slowly towards Caitlin.

"Ewww, Barry! Rule 12!" Caitlin laughed and shoved him softly. "I swear, it is so hard to be your fake girlfriend."

"My job description is way harder!" Barry argued, "I have to be a life coach _and_ a tutor _and_ a therapist. You just have to be one thing."

"Yeah, but I have to pretend to like you _and_ I have to do that in public, which I think is way more difficult."

Barry chuckled at her remark and put the single earbud in his ear. "It fits!"

"Wow, good for you, Cinderella." Caitlin quipped.

"What are you listening to anyway?" Barry nodded along to the tune.

"The _Grease_ soundtrack."

"Seriously? How old are you, grandma?"

"What? Have you heard _Summer Nights_?"

Caitlin's phone started buzzing and she say it was a call from her dad.

"I have to take this," Caitlin told Barry, and she unplugged the earbuds and pressed the green accept button.

"Hey, dad," Caitlin answered the call.

"Caitlin, sweetie! I am so happy for you!" Her dad spoke into the phone.

"Happy for me? About what?" Now Caitlin was just confused. She stood up from the bench and walked towards the trees so she as away from everyone, "What happened?"

"I heard about your new boyfriend! I wish you told me about him. But Felicity told me he was a very sweet guy. I still want to meet him, of course, but—"

"Felicity told you?" Caitlin sighed into the phone.

"Yes," her dad seemed puzzled, "what's wrong? Was she not supposed to tell me?"

Caitlin was confused as to why Felicity was talking to her dad in the first place, but instead just told her dad, "No, it's fine. Yeah, his name is Barry."

Her dad's smile seemed to radiate through the phone. "I am so glad you have moved past Ronnie."

Caitlin exhaled through her nose. "Yep, dad. Me too."

"Is everything okay over there?" Her dad asked.

"I could be asking you the same thing?" Caitlin deflected the question, asking, "How are you feeling today?"

Caitlin's dad sounded like he aged a number of years through the one statement. "Same as always, sweetie."

"I miss you, dad," Caitlin said.

"We'll see each other soon, you're coming home for break, right?"

Caitlin smiled. "Definitely. I love you, dad."

"Love you too, Caity-cat."

After Caitlin hung up the phone, she let out a sigh of relief. If she thought lying to her friends was bad, lying to her dad was worse.

Caitlin returned to the bench where Barry was and began packing up her notes and books. "I have to go and yell at someone for a million hours. Don't ask."

Barry put his hands up. "As long as it isn't me."

"I'll see you tomorrow for studying, right?"

"Yes, ma'am," Barry saluted.

"Don't be late," Caitlin warned.

"No promises."

Caitlin shook her head and let out a huff of breath as she trudged back to her apartment. She wanted to tell as few people as possible, and now her dad, the most important person in her whole life, knew, and she had to lie to him too.

Caitlin unlocked the door and barged into her house, knowing Felicity would be at the table slurping up a bowl of ramen before her next shift at work, and started to yell, "You told my dad about Barry?"

Felicity looked up from her bowl of ramen to see Caitlin in a rage, which was completely unlike her.

"Huh?" Felicity asked.

"My dad, Felicity. My dad knows about me and Barry because you told him we were dating. Why would you tell him?"

"Because it didn't seem like you were going to tell him and don't you think he should have known?"

"Why were you talking to my dad anyway?"

"He calls me sometimes to check up on you. You have a habit of taking care of everyone else but yourself, you know that? For example, when was the last time you got a good night's sleep? And ate food that wasn't just a random snack you grabbed on your way to the library? He wants to make sure you're okay, Caitlin."

"He shouldn't be worrying about me," Caitlin muttered, "I should be worrying about him. Did he tell you about his health? Because he won't tell me anything. I could help him if he let me!"

"First of all," Felicity said forcefully, "He doesn't want to worry you. You have to worry about yourself—"

"Worry about myself?"

"Let me finish." Felicity held up her hand and continued, "Even if you wanted to help him right now, you can't. He's miles away and it's not like you have the cure for ALS in your back pocket that you can just bring him."

Caitlin flinched slightly at her sharp words and sat at the table across from Felicity, but thought about what she said.

"I'm sorry, Caitlin," Felicity said softly, "I know it's hard for you to just watch your dad in his state, but get through college, become a doctor, find the cure for ALS, and save your dad."

Caitlin smiled sadly, "You make it sound so easy."

Grabbing both her hands, Felicity looked Caitlin straight in the eye, "You are Caitlin Snow; it is easy for you."

"You know I got diagnosed with test anxiety today," Caitlin joked, changing the subject, "It's a real thing."

Felicity let go of Caitlin's hands and went back to her bowl of ramen, "Huh. That actually explains a lot."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You spend more time studying than sleeping, it's just weird how your grades in biotech don't reflect that. I mean, your grades in all your other sciences are stellar, but—"

"Yeah, I know," Caitlin fidgeted with her hands and paused for a second, "I'm sorry I just barged in and yelled at you."

"I know, it was so rude," Felicity teased, "It should have been common courtesy to at least have let me finish my bowl of instant noodles before unleashing hell's fury upon me."

"Speaking of your ramen addiction, your mom says to cut down on your sodium and start eating more fruits and veggies."

Felicity pursed her lips and squinted at Caitlin, "You talked to my mom? Hypocrite."

"Your mom is cool! And she isn't wrong, have you seen how much salt is in those flavor packets?"

"Your dad is cooler! And I'm here for a good time, not a long time, Ms. I Eat One Granola Bar a Day and Call It Lunch."

"So where does my first name end and last name begin?"

"Why were you so against me telling your dad about your new boyfriend anyway?" Felicity asked as she stood and rinsed her bowl, preparing to leave for work, "Barry's a great guy. I mean, I've never met him, but I've heard good things."

"It's not that..." Caitlin was nervous about the idea of getting back on the topic of Barry. She didn't want to tell Felicity or her dad or anyone else for that matter, because the relationship between her and Barry was not real and will never be real and she was just lying to everyone on the off chance that her grades might improve. They probably would not be super stoked if she told them that.

"Then what is it?" Felicity asked, packing her bag and grabbing her keys.

"I-" Caitlin wanted to tell her everything. "I can't tell you."

Felicity took a moment to pause and process Caitlin's words. Her stormy eyes looked like they wanted to argue. Caitlin even noticed a bit of hurt underneath her eyelashes.

But Felicity blinked, shook her head, and said, "Fine, Cait. I have to go to work. Call me when you want to tell me."

"Felicity, wait," Caitlin stood up and walked towards the blonde girl, "Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad, Cait," Felicity remarked, and for someone who was supposedly not mad, she sounded pretty mad, "I just thought friends tell each other everything, but you're obviously hiding something from me."

"I just. I can't—"

"You can't what, Caitlin? Tell me anything? I've bared my soul to you so many times, I always come to you for advice and help because I trust you. You are my best friend! I just thought maybe you felt the same way! But it feels like you never need me. I always find things out the hard way because you never actually confide me. Do you even tell anyone anything? Or are you just always locked in your room by yourself?"

"Felicity!"

"No Caitlin," Felicity harshly replied, "I'm done pulling the weight in this friendship."

"Pulling the weight? I thought we were fine!"

"When was the last time you told me anything about your life that I didn't have to find out from Cisco? I didn't even know you were struggling so much in Stein's class until Cisco told me that too."

"I was embarrassed," Caitlin said pitifully.

"To tell me? Caitlin, I would never judge you and I thought maybe after our years of friendship you might have caught on to that."

"I'm sorry, Felicity, it's just hard for me to be open about these things."

"What things? Everything in your life? You know everything in my life from my job to Oliver to my family. I barely know anything about yours!"

"You know more than most!" Caitlin argued.

"That's just not good enough," Felicity shook her head.

Now Caitlin was angry, "What the hell is your problem, Felicity? Not everyone is like you and opens up at the drop of a dime! I don't need to hear your whole life story to be your friend. I didn't need to know Oliver has another kid with someone else, or that your mother is a crazy Vegan monster or—"

"Or what? What makes me, me? What's the foundation of our friendship built on?"

"Our foundation?" Caitlin was confused.

"Yes, our foundation. If we don't have an honest friendship, a friendship built on trust and mutual respect, what do we have? Would you rather we have a superficial friendship that leads to nothing? Maybe that's your problem, Caitlin. You don't open up to anybody and eventually nobody is going to open up to you."

"Hold on, I trust and respect you! I—" Caitlin retorted, but Felicity was already gone, not letting Caitlin have the last word, the door clicking shut and her blonde curls bouncing behind her.

Caitlin stared at the door in silenced shock before it seemed like the whole world spun around her. She sighed and rubbed her face with her hands. She was exhausted, but she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep that night.

That was probably the worst fight Caitlin had ever had. She hated confrontation and Felicity was right, she hated opening up...to anybody. Even to her own dad, Caitlin couldn't tell him anything. She couldn't tell him that she was failing a key class in her major, that she had an idiot fake boyfriend who was late to everything and super oblivious to top it off, and now she couldn't tell him that she just got into a fight with her closest and best friend who apparently thought they weren't that close to begin with.

A lot of the things Felicity had told her were right. Caitlin just didn't want to admit it.

Caitlin was generally a closed off person. But, she just didn't want to be a burden for anyone else to carry. Her problems were hers alone. Obviously, Felicity didn't feel the same way.

Felicity was right about her not really taking care of herself, but Felicity was also right about her graduating, becoming a doctor, and then curing ALS. She couldn't do that sleeping and she couldn't do that complaining to others.

No, she had to study.

Maybe that would take her mind off of her spat with Felicity.

Usually when the two girls fought, they would make up almost as soon as it happened. They had been friends for so long, they couldn't be separated by anything.

That was probably why it hurt Felicity so much that Caitlin couldn't tell her about Barry not really being her fake boyfriend. When Felicity was mad or sad, she didn't really yell as much as tell Caitlin how disappointed she was in the lowest, most serious tone she could muster. Which, in Caitlin's opinion, was worse than just yelling because when someone yelled, you could shout right back at them. But Felicity's low, blatant statements left no room for argument. And what was even worse, was that Felicity didn't get mad that often in the first place.

Caitlin would just have to wait until Felicity came back from her shift at work to apologize.

Caitlin studied late into the night, but managed to catch a couple hours of sleep before her early morning class the next day.

She was barely hanging on the next day, feeling more tired than usual.

When she dropped by the apartment to see if Felicity returned, she was surprised to find Felicity had simply left a note saying she was going to be spending the next few days at Oliver's home.

Caitlin crumpled up the note and sighed. Maybe this fight was even worse than she thought.

She wanted to call Felicity immediately. Or race to Oliver's and confront Felicity in person. But then she decided that giving Felicity a couple of days to cool down would be the best option.

She had a couple of hours before her study session with Barry and Caitlin thought about using that time for a quick nap, but then considered studying a little more to catch up and even be ahead in her coursework for her other classes.

Maybe she was addicted to studying. It wasn't like she enjoyed it, she needed it to do it to better her grades. She wondered if that was how addicts felt. She needed to talk to her life coach/tutor/therapist about that.

Caitlin smiled to herself, yawned, made herself a cup of coffee, and got to work.

Her eyes started to droop, but she persisted on.

When she finally made it through and it was time for her Life Coach/Tutor/Therapist session, she made her way to their bench outside the library and took a seat to wait for the track star.

She waited minute after minute and usually she would have spent this time preparing for the chapter they were going to review, but her eyelids were starting to droop...and the breeze was just right…and the sunset cast a warm glow over her… and the birds chirped in the background.

Caitlin yawned and pulled out a piece of paper and wrote: _Barry, if you're reading this that means I am sleeping and you are incredibly late. This breaks rule 42 on our relationship agreement which officially makes you the worst fake boyfriend ever. Now, at least be a somewhat decent person and wake me up so I can go home and study some more._

Then she put her head to the comfiest book she could find and hoped that through the power of osmosis, all the knowledge would diffuse into her head before taking a long needed nap.

It only felt like she closed her eyes two seconds ago, but Caitlin felt someone shaking her awake.

Caitlin struggled to open her eyes, heavy with sleep, and was met with Barry staring at her with deep concern.

"Hey, Cait," Barry had a hand on her shoulder and was shaking her slowly, "Wake up."

"Huh?" Caitlin asked, her mind struggling to wake up.

"You need to get some sleep in an actual bed. Not enough sleep is basically the same thing as not studying at all."

"Says who?" Caitlin yawned.

"Who's the life coach slash tutor slash therapist here?" Barry took her face in his hands and examined the dark circles under her eyes which revealed the lack of sleep she was getting.

Catlin swatted his hands away. "Not you. You didn't even show up."

"I'm sorry, Cait. But Iris was—"

"Frankly, I don't really care where Iris was or what Iris was doing or anything about _Iris_ , Barry." Even in her sleepy state, Caitlin still felt a twinge of annoyance when Barry mentioned Iris.

"Right, I'm sorry and I will try my hardest to not be late again."

Caitlin smiled but her tired eyes made it look pained. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Bare."

Barry smiled back, but still looked worried. "Can I take you home? It's dark out now and I want to make sure you get home safe. You look like you might pass out again."

"Rule 13 of our agreement says that we can't go to each other's houses."

"Fine," Barry argued in exasperation, "I'll stand outside your door then."

Caitlin thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. "Alright then, thanks."

What's the worst that could happen?

As the two of them started walking to Caitlin's apartment, Barry kept glancing down at Caitlin to make sure she wouldn't just faint in the middle of the sidewalk. Catlin decidedly ignored him. She didn't need him to look out for her like that and it wasn't like she was going to do a trust fall right into his arms.

"Rule 17," Caitlin stated, "Don't stare."

She honestly couldn't remember if that was a rule or not, but she just wanted him to stop looking at her with so much worry.

"You really love rules, don't you?" Barry asked.

"They keep us grounded," Caitlin explained, "Rules are the foundation that civilization itself was built upon. Rules—"

"Alright, alright, I get it!" Barry conceded, "You're horny for rules."

"I am not!" Caitlin protested vehemently.

"It was a joke, Cait."

Caitlin crossed her arms. "I know."

"It must be tough for your roommate if you're constantly harping about rules in your apartment," Barry joked, "Do you have a roommate agreement contract thing for her like the one you have for me?"

Caitlin looked down and tried to muster a fake laugh, remembering her and Felicity's argument. "Ha ha, maybe."

Barry noticed how downtrodden she looked all of a sudden, but decided not to push it.

Changing the subject, he asked, "Have you figured out the answers to my questions from yesterday?"

As Caitlin looked at him with confusion, Barry elaborated, "Finger sized legs or leg sized fingers? And never be able to lie or never be able to tell the truth? You said you needed time to think, so what's your answer?"

Caitlin sighed. "I don't know about the body parts, but I know that I would rather never be able to lie. I hate lying."

"Even if someone asks you if their dress makes their butt look big and it does but technically you're not supposed to say that, and then when you do, you don't get spoken to for a week?"

"Speaking from personal experience?" Caitlin asked.

Barry shuddered. "Let's just say Iris and I were ten years old and it was not a good day at the West household."

Caitlin giggled. "Yeah, I would rather be able to tell the truth even in those situations. Because when you tell the truth, you are being yourself. Who are you if you live a lie?"

Barry raised his eyebrows. "That was deep."

"Thanks," Caitlin said, "What about you?"

Barry thought for a second before answering. "Leg sized fingers. So I can walk around on my fingers while my body is horizontal."

Laughing, Caitlin clarified, "No, I meant about the lying and telling the truth."

"I don't know, cause if I am never able to tell the truth and then people figure out my secret, then the opposite of whatever I say will be the truth and then everyone will know what I mean. It's a lose-lose situation, if you really think about it."

"So is leg sized fingers or finger sized legs!" Caitlin argued, "You just have to choose the better one out of the two bad scenarios."

"Then I'd rather lie," Barry stated.

"So you can lie to Iris about your fake perfectness for each other?" Caitlin mumbled to herself.

"Woah, where is all this hostility coming from?" Barry asked, surprised at how the conversation turned, "Are you still mad at me for ditching our tutoring session for Iris, because I am sorry."

Caitlin wasn't really mad at Barry. She was madder at herself, if anything. Mad and sleepy: meepy. Not a good combination.

After her fight with Felicity, Caitlin didn't want to start anymore arguments that she would regret in the morning.

"It's alright, Barry," Caitlin said, "I don't know why I said that."

Barry didn't say anything for a few minutes as they walked towards her apartment.

"You're right, though," Barry said after a long pause, "Iris has been my best friend for so long, but I have kept so many secrets from her, sometimes I feel like she doesn't know me at all. I always tried to be as normal and cool around her as possible. I don't talk about any science-y stuff, because she finds that boring. I don't talk about comic books, or TV shows I like. There's a part of me that Iris doesn't know about me and I don't want her to."

"Why don't you want her to know?" Caitlin asked.

"Have you seen the guys she dates? Eddie? He's like the complete opposite of me. If I am anything less than what Eddie is, there's absolutely no hope of Iris ever looking at me in any other way except her nerdy friend that her dad took pity on."

"I don't think that's true, I'm sure Iris would love your nerdy half. She already loves the Flash," Caitlin referenced Barry's track athlete nickname, "I'm sure she'd love Barry Allen: resident science nerd and Harry Potter enthusiast."

Barry smiled, "How'd you know I like Harry Potter?"

"Please, who doesn't?" Caitlin countered.

"Iris doesn't like Harry Potter," Barry stated.

Caitlin dramatically gasped, bringing her hand to her chest. "And you like her because…?

Barry threw his head back and closed his eyes, most likely picturing his dream-girl. "She's so pretty."

She pursed her lips. "Men."

Turning to look at her, Barry quipped, "Oh yeah? And what's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of Eddie Thawne?"

Caitlin blushed and looked down to kick a small rock, not wanting to answer the question.

Barry answered it for her, "You just thought he was hot, didn't you?"

"Whatever." Caitlin threw her hands up. "I don't even know him that well! You've known Iris since childhood and the best thing you could come up with about her was that she was pretty?"

Barry sighed. "And she has a nice personality, I guess. What's with the twenty questions?"

"You started it, leg sized fingers."

"Are you denying that leg sized fingers would be cool?" Barry argued.

"We've finally reached my apartment, so I don't have to answer that," Caitlin replied, as the two of them stood in front of her apartment complex.

Turning to look at her, Barry said, "Promise me you will go to sleep. I will stand outside your apartment until I see those lights turn off. You need to get some shut eye before you pass out in the middle of the day."

"Seriously, Barry?"

"Yes, I am being serious. I am not moving until I know you're asleep. Since you won't let me come into your apartment, rule 13 or whatever, come out on the porch in your pajamas."

"What if I sleep naked?"

"All the more reason for me to make sure." Barry grinned.

Caitlin let out a huff of breath. "Gross, Barry."

She trudged up the stair of her apartment and entered her home. She was hit with the sense of loneliness as Felicity's absence hit her like a ton of bricks.

Quickly, she threw on a pair of pajamas and brushed her teeth before coming out to her front porch to see if Barry was still there.

To her surprise, she looked down to see Barry still standing there playing a game on his phone.

A warm feeling filled Caitlin as she grinned at the sight of the boy who cared so much that she got rest, he waited outside for her.

Pulling out her phone, Caitlin texted Barry, _I'm going to sleep, I promise. Happy?_

Barry received the notification and looked up at a ready-for-bed Caitlin staring down at him. Grinning, he took in her nighttime apparel: a pair of pajamas that had tiny broomsticks and snitches from the Harry Potter fandom.

Barry smiled and shook his head as he typed on his phone. _Nice PJs_ , he texted her, _I am a little miffed you led me on about you sleeping naked._

 _Ha, in your dreams._ Caitlin typed back, she looked down at him from her porch and stuck out her tongue.

 _Oh, definitely._ Barry made sure to add at least five suggestive winking emojis.

_Wow. Such a flirt. Now go away and dream about Iris or something._

_Who says I can't dream about you too?_

_Ewwww. I'm fake breaking up with you._ Barry looked up at Caitlin to see her miming throwing up.

_Lolol. I'm jk. But seriously, get some sleep. You better be super refreshed in the morning. I'll see you in class._

_See ya, Barry._

Barry continued to stand there, still looking up at Caitlin. Neither of them really wanted to move. He looked like he wanted to tell her something.

Caitlin thought about inviting him up for a moment, but then remembered Rule 13 and resisted the urge.

 _You done staring at me, Romeo?_ Caitlin sent.

Barry looked startled by the text notification and looked down at the text. He chuckled to himself a little as he read her message and Caitlin realized how much she liked making him smile.

Barry gazed up one last time at Caitlin who stood out on her second floor balcony.

 _Good night, Juliet,_ he sent her.

Then he turned on his heel, his hands in his sweatshirt pocket, and started walking in the direction they had come from as he headed home.

Caitlin watched as he walked away and felt the cool breeze on the back of her neck.

Shivering, Caitlin went into her home, closed the glass door and eased herself into bed.

She laid down on her soft, soft bed and closed her eyes as she felt sleep finally overcome her. Barry and Felicity were right. This was definitely what she needed. A good night's sleep.

While rules were important to building a foundation, Caitlin wished she could have broken the rules just for today and let Barry come up to her apartment. Even just for a minute. Just so she could have a few more moments of him for herself.

She thought it was hard to understand the foundation of a fake relationship, but Caitlin was lost on the foundation of a good and true friendship as well. She let Felicity down today and she didn't know if she could ever get her trust back.

While keeping the fake relationship a secret from everyone was part of her and Barry's agreement, Caitlin did keep a lot of other things from Felicity as well, that wasn't part of any secret signed contract. Every time Caitlin kept something from Felicity, the blonde haired girl saw it as a sign of broken trust and that break caused a crack in the foundation of friendship. Caitlin was breaking the foundation of friendship without even knowing it. But she didn't want to do that anymore.

She couldn't. Not with Felicity and not even with Barry.

She couldn't break the rules. Not even once. Because if one rule broke, the others would fall, one after the other, changing the dynamics and before they knew it, everything they once knew would be turned on its head, just like it had with Felicity.

That was why she couldn't break the rules and invite Barry up to her apartment. That was why, Caitlin convinced herself as she drifted off.

But as the last of her conscious succumbed to the subconscious, the final thought on her mind was the question of whether it would be so bad if they just broke one rule?


	5. The Evolution of Grandma Kisses

**Evolve: To develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form.**

* * *

"I woke up and it was white! Completely white!" Caitlin ranted to Barry as the two of them walked to their usual study spot.

"It's the stress." Barry shook his head, "You're stressing yourself out too much, Cait. Gray hairs are proven—"

"White hairs," Caitlin corrected. "I refuse to call them gray."

"Fine, your frosted tips—"

"I hate you," Caitlin muttered in the background.

"—are because the acute stress you're facing with classes and whatnot hyper-activates your sympathetic nervous system—"

"Which in turn depletes stem cells and causes gray hair. Yes, I know, I took General Bio too."

"White hair," Barry corrected with a smirk.

Caitlin sighed as they finally reached their seats. She plopped down on the bench and ran her hand through her hair as she inspected the ends closely. "All my hair is gonna be white by the time I'm 30!" she whined.

"Some people look really good with white hair!" Barry comforted as he took off his jacket and placed it on the seat beside him. "Sometimes it makes people look sexy."

"You think I would look sexy with white hair?" Caitlin raised her eyebrow.

Barry shrugged as he began taking out his notebooks and his phone. "I suppose it's all in the attitude. You have to own the look. Embrace it." Barry quickly scrolled through his text messages and then froze as a realization dawned on him. Sheepishly, he turned to face Caitlin. "Speaking of sexy…" he trailed off.

Caitlin looked at him with her special look of exasperation that she saved just for him. "What did you do?"

Barry squinted his face to try and make himself look innocent. "I, uh, may haveinvitedIristojoinuswhilewestudiedsorry!"

Caitlin didn't think she heard him properly. "What was that?"

"I may have invited Iris to join us while we studied… sorry," he repeated slowly this time.

Caitlin didn't say a word. She just stared at him with her doe eyes of disappointment.

At that look, Barry fell apart. "I'm sorry, Cait! It kinda just happened!"

"It. Kinda. Just. Happened?" Caitlin said slowly, her voice dangerously low. She was halfway tempted to kick the boy for being so blindly in love. Study time was study time! Her time to get her part of the altruistic deal. She agreed to be his fake girlfriend for all other times. Study time was the only time she had to herself! And Barry had to go and share that with Iris.

"Look," Barry tried to explain, "Iris is struggling just as much as you are in the class, if not more! We were just talking and-and-and somehow she may have accidently invited herself to our tutoring session!"

"Accidently invited herself?" Caitlin screeched. "Barry! This is the one time—the one time—I get to benefit off of our supposed reciprocal altruistic deal. You had no right to bring Iris into this part of our agreement. I am not about to waste hours of my time dealing with you pining away and half-attempting to flirt with her while I am trying to study for an exam that is less than a week away! Less than a week!"

"Caitlin, I get it! I know I am going back on my word, but I swear we are going to use this time to study. We all have the exam in three days, okay? We're not going to waste time. We are going to study, I promise." Barry looked at her with deep, promising eyes. He truly did look sorry. At least he understood why this time was so important to her.

Letting out a breath of acceptance, Caitlin shook her head. "Fine. But no goofing off. None."

"Of course." Barry nodded his head firmly in complete agreement.

Caitlin turned to the chapter in her notes where they had left off. Nonchalantly flipping her hair off her shoulders she asked, "So when is Compass getting here anyway?"

Barry's eyes perked up at the mention of their code-name for Iris. "She'll be here in about five minutes or so. She told me she's running a bit late."

"Running late?" Caitlin mocked, "It's like the two of you were meant to be together."

Barry knew Caitlin was just joking with him, but he couldn't help the light blush that spread to his face. He tried to hide his face in his backpack as he searched for the flashcards he made.

"Why is she taking this course anyway?" Caitlin suddenly asked, "Isn't she a journalism major?"

Barry looked up from his school supplies. "She is. But she also wants to minor in STEM cause she wants to be a reporter with a focus on science and innovation."

"Wow." Caitlin was impressed. "That's actually really cool. Very ambitious."

"Ever since we were kids, she's always known what she wanted to do with her life. She knew what career she wanted, what house, what car, how many kids…" Barry sighed, "Me, on the other hand, I didn't even know what I wanted for dinner." Caitlin chuckled at that. "It took me a while to even figure out what my major was. It took my mom dying and my dad being sent to prison for me to figure out I wanted to work in the criminal justice system…" Barry trailed off, "All I've ever known for sure is I've always just wanted to be with her."

Caitlin didn't really know what to say in response to that. "You will, Barry. If that's what you want and if that's all you've known, then soon she'll realize it too." She wondered if she sounded as stiff as she felt.

While they waited for the third member, Caitlin and Barry began going over biology terms that would show up on the next exam. Even thinking about the words on the exam gave Caitlin anxiety. But somehow, perhaps it was the way Barry read the words, Caitlin was able to rattle off the definitions to every vocab word that was sent her way. Plus, the look of pride Barry gave her after she got each term right gave her just the right amount of encouragement to keep going.

By the time Iris joined, Barry and Caitlin had gotten through about a quarter of their flashcards. She took a seat next to Barry and across from Caitlin.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late."

Caitlin finished going through the rest of the flashcards on her own while Barry blubbered on about why it was totally okay she was late. He really was a hopeless romantic.

Iris and Barry spent the next ten minutes or so discussing why she was late in the first place. It was something about a birthday gift for Eddie. Caitlin tried not to pay too much attention, but she figured Barry wouldn't be too happy about that reason. The conversation continued on to how difficult everyone was expecting the exam to be. Now Caitlin decided to listen up.

"Yeah," Iris leaned in to include Caitlin, "So I heard this exam is going to be twice as hard as his other exams. As if his other exams weren't hard to begin with. People who took the course last year told me that this exam had the lowest average of all time!"

Caitlin could easily agree with that statement. She had studied basically every day for two weeks preparing for the exam…and she still did not feel half as ready as she should have.

"He better curve us a hundred percent," Barry joked.

Iris giggled at his joke and that encouraged Barry to keep saying half-witty, half-dumb statements to keep impressing his crush. Tossing one leg on either side of the bench and putting his left elbow on the bench as he rested his head on his knuckle, Barry made sure to give his full attention to Iris as his whole body faced towards her. Both their textbooks laid out on the table, flapping in the sunny breeze, all but forgotten.

The two of them leaned into each other and laughed, sharing inside jokes and overall making Caitlin feel all squeamish inside. She did not know what this feeling was, but she hoped it would go away. Maybe she caught a stomach bug. Caitlin prayed to all the deities above to just let her get sick only _after_ the exam.

As Barry shifted his position while he looked at Iris, the watch that rested on his wrist reflected the light of the sun and shone it right into Caitlin's eyes. Doing practice problems was not easy when it felt like the full force of the sun was trying to burn off Caitlin's pupils. Every turn of his wrist sent a bright flash right at Caitlin. That annoyance, plus the betrayal she felt after Barry betrayed the sanctity of her study time, finally pushed Caitlin over the edge and she couldn't keep her anger in any longer.

"Will you stop _flashing_ me?" Caitlin growled as she looked up from her worksheet, her lucky pink #2 mechanical pencil clutched tightly in her hands.

Barry looked surprised at Caitlin sudden outburst and immediately adjusted his body to sit properly on the bench. "Sorry, Cait," he said. Noticing which problem set she was on, Barry quickly found the right papers and started to work, encouraging Iris to begin as well.

That lasted a good five minutes before conversation started again.

"You know, I'm kinda glad we're taking Stein." Iris commented. "Like this class is hard enough, but I heard that Wells's class literally makes people want to switch majors and then just curl up and die, not my words."

Caitlin awkwardly coughed, remembering getting straight A's on all his tests while Barry snorted in amusement.

Iris turned to Caitlin as she realized her reputation. "I took his class for a week before I dropped out, but you stayed for so long and I heard you were at the top of the class. Why did you drop it?"

Caitlin felt herself growing more annoyed by the second as Iris kept talking. "I just did, okay? So can you just drop it? Let's actually study for once."

Iris didn't say anything, but Caitlin could tell that her feelings had been hurt. Barry threw her a side glance that looked like a mix between anger and disgust. Caitlin felt a twinge of guilt prick at her heart. Iris had done nothing wrong the whole time and Caitlin was sitting there stewing in her bad attitude. Even she could admit she was acting a little irrational. She wished she could explain why.

Maybe it was the mounting anxiety from the upcoming exam. Maybe it was the leftover sadness from her fight with Felicity. Maybe she was just getting a damn stomach bug.

The memory of her fight with Felicity struck her as she remembered the reason behind it in the first place. If she didn't open up to people, then no one would open up to her. Biting her lower lip, Caitlin faced Iris. "I was in the class, but I… I dropped it because I… I didn't like it…"

The sound of new information and juicy gossip sparked the inner Journalism major in Iris and she perked right up. "Didn't like it? Caitlin, the class is literally everything you want in your job. And a letter of recommendation from _the_ Harrison Wells could literally get you any career you wanted!"

Noticing how Caitlin was growing more and more uncomfortable, Barry tried to change the subject and move on. He knew Wells's class was a touchy subject for her. "Stein's class is just as difficult, Iris. I'm sure Caitlin just wanted to challenge herself. Right, Cait?" He looked at her reassuringly.

Withdrawn into herself, it took Caitlin a second or two to break out of her reverie and agree with the boy. "Uh huh, yeah. Something like that." Her throat felt dry and Caitlin wanted to be anywhere but here at her favorite study spot.

Too bad Barry beat her to the punch and announced his leaving before she could. He got up and started putting all his study materials back into his backpack, leaving with an excuse about a club meeting.

Before he left, however, he placed an impromptu kiss on Caitlin's cheek and leaned in close to her ear so Iris wouldn't hear. _Thank you,_ he whispered.

Caitlin felt like she couldn't breathe. Like a bubble of air was caught in her throat. They had discussed Rule 12 extensively. She knew cheek kisses were allowed…but it still caught her by great surprise.

Did Barry not realize that was the first kiss he had given her? Because Caitlin certainly had.

Still not being able to say anything coherent, Caitlin managed to give the brown-haired boy a weak smile while Iris bid him adieu.

After he left, it was just the two of them: fake girlfriend and future girlfriend.

Caitlin unconsciously put her hand to her cheek to feel the last remaining heat from the kiss. _Was it getting hotter out here?_

Iris definitely noticed the kiss, but didn't say anything. In fact, after Barry had left, conversation had quickly dwindled down because their common ground had left. Caitlin could use no other words to describe it other than "awkward". Iris must have felt the same way because it didn't take long for her to get up and announce that she better get back to her dorm as well.

The two of them stood and began packing their things when Iris noticed something beside her. Picking it up and ruffling it out, the two of them realized that Barry had accidentally left his jacket on the bench.

"Typical," the duo commented simultaneously. When they realized they had said the same thing, they looked at each other and laughed. "Jinx!"

"I'll take it to his apartment and drop it off," Iris offered, folding it up neatly.

"Um, that's okay." Caitlin said, stretching her hand out to take the jacket. She wondered why she wouldn't just let Iris deliver the jacket. She knew Barry would be elated if Iris cared enough to drive to his dorm to give him his jacket, but something was holding her back. "I live closer to him, so it would be easier for me to…"

"Really, it's okay," Iris argued, and suddenly Caitlin could feel the air getting thicker. "It's not a big deal."

"Exactly," Caitlin agreed. "So just give me the jacket." Without another word, Caitlin had taken the item of clothing from Iris's hands. "I can just bring it to him," she said, bringing the jacket to her chest. "After all, I am his _girlfriend_." She made sure to stress the last word.

Iris smiled, gritting her teeth making it seem more like a grimace. "Of course. Right. Um... see you around I guess."

Caitlin suspected jealousy in Iris's tone and wondered if she should inform Barry on the new prospect. She honestly couldn't imagine why anyone would be jealous for Barry, of all people, but to each their own.

Holding the jacket closely, Caitlin brought the fabric to her face. The smell was intoxicating. It was just so… Barry. Like pine and nutmeg and… _what was she doing?_ She shook her head and began her trek to Barry's apartment. All she was doing was dropping off a jacket. No biggie. But it was a biggie and Caitlin felt guilt in every step at the way she shut Iris down. Caitlin was the worst when she was stressed… which was basically all the time.

When she reached Barry's apartment, she knocked three times and waited. She hoped his club meeting was over and he was actually there. Otherwise, she wasted the walk here for nothing. Luckily, Barry was home at that moment and opened the door wide after just a minute.

He grinned a huge Cheshire cat smile as he greeted her. "Caitlin!"

She took in his relaxed state and looked him up and down, noticing he was wearing Pokemon pajamas with the tiny little characters all over his blue bottoms. "Nice PJs," she commented, a smirk gracing across her face.

Barry stuck his tongue out at her. "What's up?"

"You left your jacket at our library bench." Caitlin all but shoved the article of clothing into his free hands. "And now, I have to come and drop it off at your house. See, you made me break rule—"

"—13 of the relationship agreement, I know."

"Wait, you memorized it?" Caitlin was taken aback by the fact that Barry had actually read everything she had written.

"Of course I did. It was part of the agreement to memorize it. Rule..."

"36." Caitlin finished. They both laughed.

The sounds of whirring and teleportation caught Caitlin's attention and she looked past Barry and into his apartment. "Is that _Doctor Who_ I hear playing?"

Barry scratched the back of his head and chuckled. "Yep, own them all. I watch random episodes all the time when I'm bored."

"That's awesome." Caitlin smiled wistfully. "I haven't had time to watch it past the Tenth Doctor."

"You mean, you haven't gotten to Eleven?" Barry gasped. "He's one of the best! Come watch it with me…that is if you're willing to break our fake relationship agreement." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Caitlin shifted on her feet back and forth as she considered her options. Rules were so important to her. She had to follow them. On the other hand, she did walk all this way to drop off a jacket. If she went back to her home now, she would have been greeted by nothing but the gaping absence of her best friend.

Noticing her apprehension, Barry put in his two cents. "You don't have to come in, Caitlin. I know you're a stickler for your rules. It was just a suggestion."

"I… break rules… sometimes."

The corner of Barry's lip quirked upwards. "Do you now?"

"Yes, I do. I can be fun and spontaneous." _I can be like Iris_ , she thought to herself. That thought was enough to bring her to her final decision. Walking past him, Caitlin entered his apartment and took in her surroundings.

Welcome to my humble abode," Barry introduced, his arms stretched wide, "oh, fun and spontaneous one."

His home felt both cluttered and organized at the same time. Nobody else would have been able to navigate through the maze of his room except for him. He knew where everything was placed, even if it was in the wrong spot. It felt very homey and nice and overwhelmingly Barry.

He jumped onto the couch and patted the seat next to him, inviting Caitlin to sit in front of the television screen.

Caitlin did so, sitting so she was on one side of the couch while Barry was on the other, but before she could fully get comfortable, she turned to him with determined eyes. "This is just a temporary suspension. After tonight, we go back to the normal rules. Understand?"

Barry nodded, his face mock serious. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now tell me what happened to Ten. Did he end up with Rose?" Caitlin cozied up on the couch and wrapped one of his blankets around herself.

Barry smiled softy as he looked at Caitlin. "In a way…"

They watched quite a number of episodes before Caitlin realized it was getting late… too late. She needed to get home before her night with Barry turned into a sleepover.

"Barry," Caitlin said, her voice sounding a little rough from tiredness and disuse. She turned her neck slightly to look at him and realized his head was leaning on her shoulder and his eyes were closed.

It seemed that during each episode, Barry and Caitlin had moved closer and closer together as they pushed each other, joked around, and threw pillows at each other. The two of them had moved to the center of the couch and were leaning against each other without knowing it.

She hoped she didn't look creepy just watching Barry sleep, but Caitlin couldn't help feel warm inside as she took in his relaxed state. His head was curled up against her, his brown hair all mussed up, and his mouth was slightly open leaving a little drool on the side. Caitlin thought it was the cutest thing.

He looked so innocent and peaceful. He wasn't thinking about any of his problems. He wasn't thinking about his dad in prison, his unrequited love for Iris, his track meets, his future…

All this time, Caitlin had been loading her problems on him and her stress about her grades, but she never took a moment to realize the stress Barry faced in his life, especially with his dad. Both their dads were in desperate situations where their kids wanted to help, but had no actual power to do so.

In a way, they were both stuck in the past.

Not wanting to disturb the rest Barry was getting, Caitlin quietly replaced her shoulder for a pillow and rested his head against it. She picked up her backpack and made her way to the door.

"You're leaving already?"

Closing her eyes and realizing she woke him up, Caitlin turned around. "It's 3 am, Barry. I didn't want to wake you up."

"You're going home this late?" Barry sounded groggy; he rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up. "It's not safe."

"I'll be fine." Caitlin held something up and waved it. "I have pepper spray and a Taser." A haunting thought crossed her mind. "Can't be too safe out there."

"If you don't want to stay, let me walk you home." Barry stood up from the couch and stumbled forwards.

"You're a true gentleman, Bare." Caitlin held a hand up to his chest when he tried to get to the door. "But I'll be fine. I called an Uber. I'll be outside for two minutes tops."

Barry finally seemed to accept that Caitlin wasn't going to let him come. "You'll call me as soon as you get home?"

"Yes, sir."

He gave her a sleepy smile. "Today was fun."

Caitlin's own smile faltered slightly. "About that…"

"Iris?" Barry knew.

"It's just that she—"

"Distracts me?"

"And we didn't really get any tutoring done…" Caitlin trailed off, looking up at him through her lashes, hoping she didn't sound like a jealous fake girlfriend. "I don't want her to join our other tutoring sessions."

A silent second passed before Barry nodded resignedly. "You're right and I'm sorry that we wasted a day of studying. But hey, on the bright side, we still have three more days till the exam! We… _I_... just have to be even more on track."

Caitlin looked at her watch and corrected him. "Two more days now." She bit her lower lip. "You're not mad at me?"

"Of course not." Barry reassured her. "I totally understand where you're coming from and I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner."

Caitlin suddenly felt warm again and looked at him with a shy smile. "Thank you."

An idea struck her. "Plus, you can tell Iris about me seeing some deep chemistry between you and her and that I am so jealous of the two of you together." She poked Barry's side teasingly and he jumped as she unintentionally tickled him.

Barry grinned as he rubbed his side. "Like she would believe that."

She shrugged. "It's worth a shot."

He chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Deep chemistry…" he repeated.

Caitlin checked her phone. "Uber's here."

"Oh, before you go." Barry gave her a teasing look. "How was our first kiss?"

Caitlin felt her heart racing at just the thought of his cheek kiss. So he did know. She had to play it cool. "It was so steamy and hot. Best cheek kiss I've ever had. My grandma would be jealous."

Barry nodded as he acted serious. "I kiss better than your grandma. I believe that is the highest accomplishment any fake boyfriend could achieve."

"Congratulations, Grandma Kisser."

Barry crinkled his nose in disgust. "You make it sound like I just go around kissing random grandmas when you and I both know these lips are only for kissing the cheek of one old person stuck in a young person's body."

"I am not an old person in a young person's body!" Caitlin protested, hands on her hips.

"You're right," agreed Barry, "You're not an old person in a young person's body… you're an old person in an old person's body. You even have the gray hairs to prove it!"

"White hairs, asshole!" Caitlin shoved him playfully, and she could hear herself laughing.

"Language!" Barry yelled as he doubled over in laughter himself. "You kiss your grandma with that mouth?"

Maybe it was the high one gets at 3:30 in the morning. Maybe it was the stress. But even as Caitlin reached the Uber and went off to her apartment, the grins and the giggles just wouldn't go away. Even as she changed into her pajamas and laid her head on the pillow, the thoughts of another apartment with cluttered tables and Doctor Who DVDs refused to fade away.

* * *

The next morning, Caitlin awoke with renewed energy and a determination to right her wrongs. That meant making up with the one and only Felicity Smoak.

Even though she called a million times and left thousands of voicemails, the blonde haired girl continued to ignore her. There was a wall between the two of them that Caitlin didn't realize she was building. Enough was enough; it was time to break down the barrier.

Making her way to a certain mansion, Caitlin couldn't stop the jittery nerves that took over. She stepped out of the vehicle and made her way to the door, holding a very large basket in her hands. Balancing the bulky gift with one arm, Caitlin used the other to ring the doorbell.

The door opened a few seconds later and Caitlin was greeted by the face of Oliver Queen. "Hi, Caitlin," he said, a welcoming smile on his face. "Felicity is downstairs. If she has an attitude at first, just ignore her. She really does miss you."

Grateful, Caitlin made her way inside and to the stairs. "Thanks, Oliver."

"Wait, Caitlin." Oliver's now hesitant voice made her stop in her steps and she knew what was coming. Turning around, she faced him cautiously. "How are you?" He asked.

"Fine." She cleared her throat. "Better."

"Have you told—"

"Uh, no. Not— not yet."

"Caitlin." Oliver pinched his nose and looked at her with firm eyes. "You promised."

"I will." Caitlin dug her fingers into the basket and almost broke through the plastic wrap. "I just haven't had time."

"It helps to talk about it, you know."

"I'm fine, Oliver," Caitlin retorted harshly. "I'm going to see Felicity now."

Oliver didn't argue and let the secretive girl join her best friend.

In the basement, Felicity was hard at work on the computers. Hearing the ruffling of Caitlin's friendship basket, she looked up and took in the sight of her best friend. "What are you doing here?" she asked with a twinge of annoyance.

Caitlin sighed as she put down the basket. "I tried to call you and talk to you, but you were doing all you can to ignore me, so I had to see you in person. Plus, I made you a Ramen basket." Caitlin pushed the large gift towards her as a sign of a peace offering.

Felicity took a packet from the collection and began to rip it open. Caitlin watched while she looked around for the microwave. "Does this mean you forgive me?"

"No," Felicity said forcefully, "It just means there's nothing to eat in this mansion except caviar and lobster and sometimes a girl just wants to overload on sodium."

"I'm sorry, Felicity," Caitlin said sincerely, "I'll do better! I just can't stand the thought of you being mad at me."

"Honestly, Caitlin, I was never really mad at you." Felicity said resignedly as she set the dried noodles down. She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I just wanted you to tell me what was on your mind. I feel like I'm always telling you everything about my life and what's going on, from work to any problems with Oliver, which there aren't any more thanks to your advice, and I just want to be there for you, but I can't if you're not willing to tell me anything. I can't if you don't trust me."

"I do trust you!" Caitlin said forcefully. She didn't understand how her best friend did not know that she meant the world to her.

"Then why won't you tell me what's wrong? I know something is wrong so don't deny it. And I know that it's obviously about Barry. After every study date you have with him, you always come home with a dopey grin and then you always get sad. And-and even before Barry, there were nights you woke up screaming."

"It was just nightmares," Caitlin muttered.

"Nightmares that just started coming out of nowhere. Nightmares you won't talk about—"

"I've stopped having them!" Caitlin interrupted. She paused and took a breath. "They've stopped. I don't know I think it was just a phase. Maybe it was the stress, but after I've started studying with Barry, I've been sleeping fine. Great actually."

"Fine, then we won't talk about the nightmares. Can we talk about your problem with Barry?"

Caitlin mulled over what she was allowed to tell Felicity. "It's not about Barry," Caitlin finally admitted.

"Then what is it?"

"It's me, okay? It's me!" Caitlin felt a wave of emotion wash over her, "I'm insecure. I'm crazy. I'm neurotic. I'm jumping into this crazy commitment with Barry and I don't know if I can handle it anymore. I just spent all of yesterday being completely mean to Iris for no reason because… well, I don't really know why!" Caitlin released a crazy laugh. "I have a test in Stein's class coming soon and I don't know if I can handle it. I feel petrified every time I see Ronnie, like he's judging me for dating someone else. And Barry! He's great. Super funny and nice and we get along so well and I have so much fun with him and I feel like we're not on the same page and I am moving too fast for him and I think I'm getting feelings for him that I can't explain and I don't really want—"

Caitlin's eyes widened quickly as she took in the last few sentences she said. No way. No way, no way, no way. Caitlin certainly didn't feel that! Why did she say that? She just blurted it out, but it wasn't true! Was it? She couldn't breathe. Why did she say she had feelings for Barry?

Felicity put a hand on Caitlin's shoulder. "Breathe, Cait."

One breath in. One breath out. One breath in. One breath out. Caitlin could feel her body begin to slow down again and return to normal function. Or as normal as a constantly stressed out person could get.

"How does that feel?" Felicity asked.

"Better," Caitlin choked out.

"Now, sit down and we're gonna break down everything you said, starting with the last thing." The two of them sat on the comfy couch in the basement and settled in for a long conversation. "You think you're getting feelings for Barry? Isn't that what was supposed to happen? I mean, you are dating the guy."

Caitlin realized she had revealed too much, but felt it was totally worth it if it meant having her best friend back. She chose her words carefully and felt she was revealing more to herself than she was to Felicity. "I think my feelings for him are greater than the ones he has for me."

That statement felt completely true and saying it out loud only confirmed it. Talking about it really helped her to understand herself and unload.

"So, do you… love him?" Felicity asked cautiously.

"What? Love him? Hell no," Caitlin scoffed.

"Well, I mean the logical step from liking someone is to love them."

"But I don't love him! We barely know each other!"

"That's the thing about love, Cait. You never see it coming… and you can never plan where it'll come from."

They talked for hours after that, breaking open that ramen bouquet and eating unhealthy noodles till dawn.

"Thanks for opening up to me, Cait," Felicity said softly as they leaned against each other. Caitlin was reminded of a similar situation she was in with Barry just a few hours before.

"If I knew how much better I would feel afterwards, I would have done it a long time ago."

"Why do you think I always rant and go into my long, drawn out tirades?" Felicity joked.

"Thanks for listening." Caitlin smiled as she stood up and stretched. "You ready to go home?"

Felicity hesitated, "About that…"

Caitlin looked worried as Felicity didn't immediately agree to go back. Maybe their friendship wasn't as fixed as she believed.

"When I was staying here…Oliver asked…" Felicity looked conflicted, her eyebrows scrunched and fingers tapping against the couch arm. "Oliver asked me to… move in with him."

"That green bastard." Caitlin squinted. She was only joking, of course. She would be sad and hopelessly miserable for a while as she lived alone, but she would have to get over it. Oliver and Felicity had dated for a while, it was about time they took the next step in their relationship. Besides, the mansion definitely had space for one more.

"I said no, obviously." Felicity tilted her head from her seat and gave Caitlin a cheesy grin.

That took Caitlin by surprise. "Really?"

"Of course. I couldn't leave you. You need somebody to stay and help pay rent!"

"Right, and that's the only reason?"

"Duh." Felicity stated as a matter of fact.

The two girls looked at each other and giggled.

"Ollie and I have all the time in the world." She hooked her arm around Caitlin's and they both made their way outside. "I want to spend a little more time with my best friend."

In a way, Caitlin was glad they had their fight because now, she felt their friendship had reached another level. There had been an added layer of trust that brought them together once more and they had evolved to become stronger than ever before.

Now that her friendship was in the clear, Caitlin's head felt clearer as well. Sharper and ready to take on the world…or at the least, Professor Stein's killer exam. The next two days had Caitlin completely cut off from the world and she rotated from her apartment to the library like clockwork. Even her interactions with Barry were kept to a minimum as they studied together in comfortable silence, encouraging each other to keep going (Caitlin's job) and forcing the other to take a break once in a while (Barry's job). The two of them worked well together and Caitlin realized that even as the test grew closer, her anxiety hadn't been completely debilitating. With Barry's help, she was able to utilize it and work her hardest… without completely breaking down and losing it.

* * *

The day had finally arrived. The dreaded exam date. Caitlin lay paralyzed in her bed. Afraid to get up and face the lecture hall. The stiff blue seats. The ticking clock.

She tried to pull an all-nighter like she had for her previous exams, but Barry would not have it.

"If you pulled an all-nighter for the other exams and bombed, why would you think it'll work this time?" he argued. "Trust me. You need sleep." And he stayed outside her window, just like their first study date, to make sure she was really going to bed.

Caitlin went to sleep after much tossing and turning, but now she couldn't get up. She considered faking sick and skipping. Then she realized Stein had prepared an even more difficult exam for people who skipped. She would not want to take that exam.

Sighing, she pulled herself out of bed and got ready, making sure to eat a healthy breakfast as Barry had constantly reminded her to do the day before.

When she finally reached the building she was going to take her exam in, she was met with the crowd of her classmates standing outside the locked door doing as much last minute cramming as possible before the doors opened. There were open textbooks, open notes, and open quizlets as each student used their own method to study. There was also the sound of hyperventilating, something Caitlin could relate with on a spiritual level. She tried looking around to find Barry, but he was lost in the crowd. Caitlin did however see Ronnie, who she had tried to avoid until this point. Ronnie did not agree with her sentiment.

He approached her with all his fit and beautiful glory. "Nervous about the exam?" he asked casually.

 _We dated for years_ , Caitlin thought to herself. _What do you think?_

"Just a little," she replied.

"You'll be fine. Stein said as long as we prepared, the exam should reflect what we've learned."

"Did he now?" Caitlin muttered.

Ronnie breathed deeply and Caitlin watched his chest rise and fall. "So I heard you're dating Allen."

Caitlin shut her eyes. "Can we not talk about this now?"

"You know he does track and he's part of a bunch of extracurriculars. You broke up with me for having a life outside of yours, so I don't understand why dating him would make much of a difference."

"That is not why I broke up with you and you know it," Caitlin seethed. "How dare you make it seem like I was preventing you from having a life. I just wanted to be a part of it. I just wanted a part and you clearly didn't want that."

"Stein and I were—"

"Attached at the goddamn hip. You were so invested in your work and your project, you literally didn't notice anything else. Anything that was happening to me. Anything I was going through—"

"What were you going through, hmm?" Ronnie asked.

Caitlin was startled by Ronnie's forwardness, but she came to her senses pretty quickly afterwards. "It's a little too late for that, isn't it?" she responded coldly.

"Caitlin!" At the sound of her name, Caitlin was greeted by the body of her lovely fake boyfriend. He jogged up to her with a great grin on his face, a bright contrast to the panicking and petrified looks on the faces of his classmates. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, Barry continued talking. "Nervous about the exam?" Without even waiting for her to answer he went on, "Course you're not, because Caitlin Snow is going to KILL IT!" he announced that statement loudly and proudly to everyone.

Despite her argument with Ronnie, Caitlin still smiled softly at Barry's antics.

"The doors opened." He noticed as he looked at her. "Ready to go in?"

Caitlin gave a firm nod. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Barry gave a nod to Ronnie as he and Caitlin walked into the lecture hall. Caitlin gave no such indication that acknowledged her ex-boyfriend. "What was that all about?" Barry whispered in her ear once they were out of Ronnie's field of vision.

"Later," Caitlin whispered, still painfully aware of Barry's arm still around her.

Later was right, because it was now the moment Caitlin had dreaded for so long. The students had to sit in every other chair to avoid cheating, so Barry sat in the seat right in front of her so he could boost her confidence till the very last second before they had to start.

He turned to face her, a smile still on his face. "You are going to do amazing. If you feel your heart racing, remember the calming exercises we googled. You just gotta breathe through it, alright?"

Caitlin nodded, gulping as she noticed Stein and his TAs walking in with the stacks of blank exam papers. Barry noticed too, but paid them no heed.

"Barry," Caitlin squeaked. "I can't do this. I can't—"

"If you can't do it, I can't do it," Barry stated, the smile dropping from his face. He turned even more in his seat and leaned towards her. "If you freak out and bomb this test, I'm not even going to attempt to take it. I'll hand in a blank exam and get a zero. Is that what you want?"

Caitlin's eyes widened. "What? No. What the hell are you talking about?"

"You need to save me, Caitlin." Barry's face was serious. "You can fail all you want, but I'm going down with you. So take the damn test and if you finish, I finish. Deal?"

"You're insane."

"And you're insanely smart, so I know you've got this in the bag. So can you get me that A+?"

Barry tried to make her taking the test seem like an act of saving his life (or his grade) and after all the work he put in with her by tutoring her and studying with her, maybe it was. If she sank, he sank with her so now the test was not just about her…it was about Barry and saving Barry. Caitlin was always better at helping others than helping herself. Barry knew that and he used it to help her.

He knew her better than she knew herself.

"I can do it," she confirmed, her lucky pink pencil clutched tightly in her hands.

"Mr. Allen!" Stein's voice called from the front of the room. "Eyes forward. Exams are being passed out."

Barry gave her one last wink before turning around. When the exam finally reached her seat, it was like time sped up and slowed down all at once. Her pencil moved on its own accord and even though she felt like her brain was empty, something in her knew what it was doing. The mountains of flashcards she built popped into her mind. The many, many practice problems she did and redid came to her attention. It was all coming together.

Mostly it was Barry's voice in the back of her mind giving her tips and hints to calm down that kept her going. Every time a TA walked past her seat and glanced down at her paper, she heard Barry's voice tell her to count to ten. When her eyes started to water and her pulse quickened, Barry's voice told her to not get stuck on one question and keep moving through it.

The timer went off and the end of the exam was announced. Caitlin jumped in her seat taken by surprise. She had worked slow and steady and had barely finished in time. But she did. Caitlin felt like she could breathe for the first time. She actually finished the exam. She did it!

Giving the exam a quick once-over, Caitlin prepared herself to hand it in and finally push it out of her mind forever.

"Thank you, Ms. Snow," Stein said as he took her exam. He then continued to take the other grumbling students' exams, not giving her any attention even though this was the most momentous occasion to Caitlin. She had gotten through the exam without any panic. Alright, maybe a little panic, but not enough that she couldn't get through the exam.

She packed her backpack slowly as the students trickled out complaining about how unfair and hard the exam was. Her pretty pink planner was out and Caitlin was finally able to check off Biotech Exam from her To-Do List. The list that haunted her for weeks.

Confident in herself, Caitlin walked out the doors and was pleasantly surprised to see Barry still waiting for her outside the building. Her smile faltered a little at the sight of Iris standing by him as the two of them chatted together. Barry leaned against the wall speaking to Iris in a sort of flirty way. Caitlin felt her heart clench in her chest and immediately looked away. This was Barry Allen. The weirdo who was in love with the same girl since he knew what the word love meant.

He was no Romeo, especially to her. Then again, Romeo wasn't even that big of a hero. A wimp, really. Undeserving of the title of a "real" man... maybe Barry was Romeo.

Iris caught Caitlin's eye and walked over to her, leaving Barry behind. "The exam's finally over!" she said, her eyes bright.

"Yeah, it is!" Caitlin smiled.

Iris gently grabbed her forearm and squeezed. "I just wanted to let you know that…" she paused to consider her words. "Barry is like my little brother. He's my friend. So you don't have anything to be jealous about and I'm sorry if I made you feel like that."

Caitlin never felt more awkward. "Oh…"

Patting her shoulder, Iris smiled. "Trust me, there is no deep chemistry between the two of us."

 _Deep chemistry?_ Caitlin wondered. Then the realization struck her. Those were the words she told Barry to tell Iris so she wouldn't come to their study dates.

"Okay, thanks Iris." Caitlin didn't really know what else to say in that situation. _Please have deep chemistry with my fake boyfriend so we can fulfill our altruistic arrangement?_ Was that too forward?

After Iris made sure Caitlin knew exactly where she and Barry's relationship stood, she went off and joined her friends who were going out to celebrate the end of the exam. Caitlin just wanted to take a nap.

"What was that about?" Barry asked approaching Caitlin as Iris left. He had just finished a conversation with Cisco in which the two of them had mutually agreed to not judge each other when they received their test scores of 15%.

"So you told Iris about the deep chemistry, huh?"

"Did it work?" Barry countered.

"It worked in embarrassing me," Caitlin said while the two of them began walking to their next class (a class most people decided to skip after the terror of the Biotech exam). "She's probably going to tell all her friends how much of a jealous monster girlfriend I am."

"Iris wouldn't do that," Barry defended.

"You know, I feel like I'm putting a lot more effort into this fake relationship than you are," Caitlin commented off-handedly.

"That's not true! I planned this whole operation! This was basically all my effort."

"But I have to actually do it and convince Iris that I like your weird face."

"My weird face?" Barry questioned, not at all affronted, "I'll have you know, plenty of people think my face is perfectly proportioned."

"Who? Your grandma?"

"Yes, my grandma. My beautiful face is the only thing on her Facebook."

"Grandma Kisser," Caitlin sang.

"I love my grandma and there's nothing wrong with that."

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with that." Caitlin replied.

"You're making fun of me!" Barry exclaimed, his voice going a pitch higher.

"I'm not!" she laughed, pulling out her smartphone. "I'm sure your grandma is a wonderful lady."

"She is." Barry reminisced about his grandma who was currently having a good time in a retirement home in Florida. "What are you doing?" He watched Caitlin scroll through her phone.

"I'm finding your grandma on Facebook. I have to know who's on the receiving end of Barry's famous grandma kisses."

"You and you alone, my fake love. Her name is Dawn," Barry added. He took out his own phone and handed her it with his grandma's Facebook page already opened up so Caitlin didn't have to search anymore.

"Woah," Caitlin said as she went on Dawn's Facebook page. "You weren't kidding. These are all pictures of you! Oh and lots of minion memes. Grandmas sure do love those yellow Tic Tacs. Aw, look at your cute little bum!" Caitlin zoomed in on a picture of a cute and chubby one year old Barry lying down on a blanket, all dimples and smiles.

"Okay, that's enough Facebook for today." Barry grabbed his phone back and held it over his head so she couldn't reach.

Caitlin jumped up to try and reach his device. "Oh come on, Barry! Now let me see your Facebook page."

Barry grunted, not being able to resist Caitlin's requests and pulled up his page. Caitlin gleefully scrolled through, but ended up a little disappointed. "You're very boring. It's just pictures of your track team and like one family picture. Your grandma's page is way better."

"Sorry my life doesn't consist of minion memes," Barry stated dryly.

"I don't think I can forgive you for that," Caitlin replied in the same tone. "So you like Lady Gaga?"

"Psh! What? No!" Barry vehemently denied, "No, I don't!"

"According to your Facebook page," she showed him his post, "ya do."

"First of all, I was twelve. My taste in music has matured now."

"It's okay, Barry. Even coma patients can jam to 'Poker Face'. It's a bop, you don't have to be ashamed."

"I'm not ashamed! I was twelve!"

"Actually you posted your love for Gaga when you were fifteen, but still... no judgement here."

"You sound judgey," Barry muttered. "You know what, fine. Lady Gaga is amazing and I'm not going to deny it. Ask Cisco, he would agree with me."

"We all know Cisco loves Lady Gaga with all his being. Wait a minute." Caitlin squinted her eyes as she faced Barry. "Freshman year, Cisco went to a Lady Gaga concert with a friend... Was that friend...?"

Barry dropped his head as he admitted, "Yes, I went to a Lady Gaga concert my freshman year in college."

Caitlin breathed through her nose and bit her upper lip to keep from laughing.

"It's okay." He sighed. "Let it out."

At that, Caitlin burst out laughing, still holding Barry's phone in her hand. "I'm still not judging." She wiped tears of mirth from her eyes.

"Uh huh."

"Alright," Caitlin continued, "Let's check out the rest of your page. When was the last time you posted on your timeline? 5 years ago! You said 'Going to Baskin-Robbins!'"

Barry chuckled. "That was when my team won the Science Olympiad."

"Nerd," Caitlin joked.

"Oh, so you didn't do Science Olympiad?" Barry raised his eyebrows, knowing her answer without her even having to say anything, which was good because Caitlin tastefully chose not to reply.

"And look at your Relationship Status. It has never changed from 'Single'." Caitlin looked at him teasingly as she scrolled through the relationship options on his edit page. "Check it out, should we change it to 'It's complicated'?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I haven't even been on my Facebook in years. Nobody uses it anymore."

"Dawn does."

"I meant people in my generation don't use Facebook. I'm sure people in yours and my grandma do."

Caitlin scrunched up her nose and pursed her lips, pretending to be offended. "You know, if you were actually committed to this fake relationship, you would have changed your Facebook status to 'In a relationship'." Caitlin pressed the button that selected it.

"Is that what you want?" Barry teased, taking his phone back.

Caitlin put her hands up. "I just wanna know you're committed."

"Oh, I'm committed." Barry's finger went to the Save button to change his status from 'Single' to 'In a relationship'.

"No, wait!" Caitlin stopped him from going any further. "I was just joking. Oh my god. Could you imagine what would happen if you actually changed it? All the people we knew in high school and middle school and all our distant relatives would know. It's hard enough keeping this lie to the campus."

"Relax, Cait." Barry grinned. "I wasn't actually going to do it. I'm not that dumb." He put his finger down to press the gray Cancel button, but his finger slid a centimeter and he ended up pressing the bright blue Save button instead. Exactly what he said he wouldn't do.

Caitlin's eyes went wide as she saw the saved changes. "What did you just—"

Barry looked just as shocked. "I didn't mean to!"

The two of their heads slowly turned to look at each other as reality dawned on them. Their situation just got much worse and now, more than a few people would know about their relationship. Everyone they knew now knew.

"This is your fault!" Barry exclaimed.

"My fault?" Caitlin said, completely affronted.

"You were the one asking to see my Facebook and looking at my relationship status!" Barry's phone buzzed and a quick glance at it made his face pale tremendously. "It's a Facebook message from my grandma."

"That quick?"

Barry looked at her and squinted his eyes. "It's your turn." His voice sounded deep and gravelly.

"My turn?" Caitlin said queasily. She had a feeling she knew where this was going and she was not looking forward to it.

"Change your Facebook status to 'In a relationship' too. I'm not doing this alone."

"Uhm, I don't think so."

"If my grandma has to know, then so does yours!"

"Fine, if it makes you be quiet." Caitlin quickly changed her status and waited for all the congratulations from her third cousins twice removed. She showed him the change on her phone screen. "Happy?"

Barry chose not to answer, but rather wrapped his arm around her waist as they continued walking the final stretch to their next class. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?"

"We are so screwed," Caitlin sighed as she fit right into Barry's side and rested her head against him.

Barry simply laughed and gave her a swift kiss on the side of her head. It was crazy how comfortable he was at doing that. He gave her affection so quickly and briefly, Caitlin barely had any time to process it. She didn't even have time to realize that Iris was nowhere to be found and all of it came from Barry's freewill.

Everything happened in a flash.

"Ms. Snow." Caitlin's head jerked up at the sound of her name, her heart involuntarily pounding harshly in her chest. Her whole body chilled and it was like she was suddenly doused with cold water from head to toe.

Barry and Caitlin turned around to greet the voice that announced her name. At the sight, Caitlin felt herself curling into Barry's side more. Her arms gripped his shirt tightly and she could feel her palms sweating.

"Dr. Wells." Caitlin said.

"I've missed you in my class," the professor said casually as he wheeled over to the two of them. "I heard you moved to Stein's."

Caitlin cleared her throat, or at least she tried to. "Um, yes. I just… I had to rearrange my schedule for… um, yes."

"Ah." Professor Wells tilted his head to the side. "Is that so?"

She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her right then and there. She wanted to run away and never look back.

"Uh, hi," Barry said. He stretched out his hand for Wells to take. "I'm Barry Allen. I've heard really great things about your class and your work."

"Thank you." He returned the handshake and after a second or two of awkward silence, Wells continued. "I'll see the two of you around campus then. It was nice to meet you, Mr. Allen." He gave Caitlin a nod. "Ms. Snow."

She stared straight ahead, even as Wells's wheelchair moved past her. The scent of his cologne overtook her and she felt as if it was a poisonous gas that was suffocating her. She couldn't breathe it in. She wouldn't. When Wells was finally gone, Caitlin realized how strong a grip she had on Barry's shirt and released her hold on him. Barry fixed his shirt slightly to release the wrinkles, but made no complaints about her death hold.

"That was awkward," Barry commented, scratching the back of his head. "He probably felt insulted that you chose Stein's class over his," he joked.

"Whatever," Caitlin said, her heart rate returning to normal after the whole fiasco, "He's gone now and we're Facebook official!" She turned to look at Barry and grinned. "You know what that means."

"Now my grandma knows we're together!"

"You're gonna get so many grandma kisses the next time you visit her." Caitlin interlocked her arm with Barry's and leaned against his shoulder as they finally made it to their next class's building.

"Oo, I can't wait."

They entered the classroom to find it a lot more empty than usual. Most people had skipped that day to go out and celebrate finally finishing Stein's exam. The rest of the students in the classroom had luckily never had to take a Stein exam before. Iris and the rest of her posse weren't there as they had also taken the day off and Caitlin just realized that Barry chose to come to class with her. She supposed he just didn't like to skip class.

In this class, Barry usually sat in the back with Iris and the rest of his friends, but since they were all gone that day and Cisco wasn't around either, he decided to plant himself in a desk next to her.

After experiencing Stein hell, Caitlin's mind was completely worn out and she could barely pay attention. She might as well have skipped because she was learning nothing. The same applied to Barry as his head drooped against his desk and his fingers lazily drew doodles on the corner of his notebook.

The hour long class and the boring drone of the professor set the perfect stage for Caitlin's mind to begin to wander. And it just had to wander to the boy who sat beside her.

She remembered what she had accidentally revealed to Felicity about her feelings for Barry being stronger than the feelings he had for her.

While Caitlin's feelings had evolved to view Barry as more than just a tutor, Barry still viewed Caitlin as his ticket to Iris.

Evolution was a normal part of life. Microbes evolved, animals evolved, and even humans evolved. It was important that things didn't stay the same. It was important for survival and natural selection. Everything had to adapt and grow and become a better version of themselves. The fastest gazelle escaped the lion, the tallest giraffe got the food, and the most camouflaged frog resisted being caught.

Humans evolved too. There was macro-evolution, but that's a whole other story. Humans evolved in a micro form every day as they adapted to their surroundings. They evolved everyday as they learned more and more about the people around them. They evolved to love and build deeper connections. They evolved to develop relationships and families.

Evolving emotions simply grew stronger. The more one knew and understood another, the stronger the feelings for that other becomes, whether it be love or hate. There was simply no way to escape the power of evolution.

She had witnessed it with Felicity. Her bond with Felicity grew tenfold in a matter of a weekend and Caitlin had been best friends with her for years before. Felicity and her relationship with Oliver had evolved to the point where the once self-proclaimed playboy had asked the love of his life to take the next step with him and move in together. While Felicity hadn't completely evolve to that point, she still had a deep love for Oliver and was still willing to eventually reach that point, even if she was scared at the moment.

It was scary: evolving. And actualizing the change in feelings. Everything felt different with Barry, even though to him it was all the same.

The world felt brighter now. Whenever Barry grabbed her hand and held her close… whenever he kissed her cheek, even if it was just a façade, Caitlin could feel sparks of electricity fly between them. Her spirit lifted higher and lightning coursed through her veins.

But it didn't mean anything. At least not to the person it needed to matter to.

Caitlin put both her arms on the desk and rested the side of her face against it. Her head turned to watch the boy she had been thinking about slowly rest his pencil on the table, his eyes drooping slowly, his focus going in and out, as he drifted off to sleep.

No, she couldn't think like that. Barry's heart belonged to someone else. It was not fair of her to try and take it.

The sparks she felt weren't real… and they never could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think about this chapter!


	6. Practice Makes Bestest

**Solecism: An ungrammatical combination of words in a sentence; something deviating from the proper, normal, or accepted order.**

* * *

Throughout the entire lecture, Barry's phone continued to vibrate non-stop with messages from Grandma Dawn, who was curious to know more about the lady that had captured her grandson's heart. Once the professor finished the last of her lecture, students began filing out of the classroom, chatting amongst themselves and preparing for their weekend plans. Barry, on the other hand, remained in his seat with his head still on the table as he snored the day away. Luckily, Caitlin, being the good fake-girlfriend she was, nudged Barry and urged him to get up before the next set of students came in for class.

"Mmmh," Barry muttered, pushing away Caitlin's incessant poking. He turned his head away from her to the other side and tried to snuggle further into his crossed arms.

"Barry, your grandma is calling again," she noted, watching his phone vibrate for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour.

This woke him up. "Grandma?" He reached for his phone and answered.

"Grandma's boy," Caitlin teased causing Barry to respond with a stuck-out tongue.

While the two of them walked outside, Caitlin could not help but overhear the conversation between the grandmother and grandson quite clearly despite the phone not having been put on speaker. Grandma Dawn spoke very loudly, a consequence of old age and the hearing loss that came with it, and Barry spoke just as loud so she could hear him.

"You have a girlfriend, Barry?" Dawn exclaimed. A few students passing by turned their heads at the loud sound coming from his phone causing Barry to duck his head and quickly find a secluded place to have a chat with his relative.

Caitlin followed closely behind. After all, they were talking about her… so she had a right to listen and know what they were discussing.

"Hello to you too, Grandma," was Barry's wry response.

"Don't give me that, young man!"

Caitlin raised her eyebrow and stifled a laugh.

Barry made a face at Caitlin. "Yes, I have a girlfriend. Her name is Caitlin," he finally admitted as he and said girlfriend found a nearby bench to sit at. Barry put the phone on speaker so Caitlin could hear better, though it wasn't really necessary since she could hear Dawn from a mile away.

"Took you long enough!" Dawn said causing Barry to blush a shade of red.

He rubbed at his face to get rid of the sleep lines from his nap during class, before exasperatedly exclaiming, "Grandma!"

"What?" she remarked back. "I'm just saying, it's been too long since you've been in a relationship. I was worried I wasn't gonna live long enough to see my grandkids."

Barry groaned. "Don't say stuff like that."

Dawn huffed. "Well, it's true, young man. Who is this mystery girl you've been hiding from me anyway, hmm? When did you two meet? How did you two meet? What does she do?"

"We met about halfway through the semester," Barry explained.

_Truth._

"It was in one of the classes we had together," he continued.

_Truth._

"She's a doctor," Barry answered the final question.

_Lie._

At Caitlin's raised eyebrows and incredulous look, he continued, "Alright, so she's not an actual doctor. Not yet, at least," Barry nudged Caitlin in the side, "as she always likes to remind me. But she will be soon. So why not start calling her one now? I mean she has the brains, and the will, and she's so witty and fast on her feet. She just has what it takes to be a doctor, you know?"

Caitlin tried to hide her blush and bit her lower lip as she tried to control the smile that was trying to take over her whole face.

"Wow, sweetie, you seem to really love her," Dawn stated. "She must be beautiful."

"Oh she is, but she likes being called smart more than she likes being called pretty, which is fine by me cause she's definitely both." Barry looked at Caitlin while he said this and winked. Caitlin could have sworn her insides just melted right then and there.

She didn't mind being called pretty, especially by Barry, but he was right when he said she liked being called smart more. He knew her so well.

Dawn and Barry continued talking and the conversation steered away from Caitlin as grandmother and grandson caught up on what was going on in their lives at the moment. Barry looked quite content retelling the gripping story of one of his group projects and Dawn recounted her experience with this week's Bingo Night and how Heather was definitely cheating.

Caitlin took out a book and began reading, as Barry took the phone off speaker and lowered the volume, his voice becoming a hushed buzz in the background.

The next action happened easily. Barry stretched his free arm and swung it behind Caitlin's back to grip the bench on her other side. He crossed his right leg on top of the left leg that remained planted on the ground, and leaned back into a more comfortable position, or as comfortable as you could get on a thermoplastic covered metallic blue bench.

Although they weren't sitting painfully close, she imagined they still must have looked like a couple to anyone just passing by.

The whole moment felt strangely normal. Like a normal boyfriend and girlfriend simply being in each other's presence, just being themselves, without even having to talk to each other. To put it simply, it was nice.

As he talked, Caitlin noticed that Barry had become more and more distracted, his engaging conversation with his grandmother becoming an afterthought as he focused on the string of texts that started popping up on his phone.

"Grandma, I gotta go now," Barry said hastily before Dawn was about to begin another story about Heather and how she was definitely sleeping with the pool boy. He withdrew his arm from resting on the bench behind Caitlin and she could not help but miss its hovering presence. Barry used both hands to clutch his phone while he rapidly began replying back to the messages on his device.

The two relatives exchanged goodbyes, but Barry talked as fast as he could and kept tapping his fingers on his bouncing knee in between replying to the messages. Now Caitlin was curious. She wondered what kind of texts Barry could have received to make him so on edge.

Luckily, she didn't have to wait long at all.

"Guess what?" Barry asked her, his grin stretching widely.

She put a finger on her chin and squinted. "You have an identical twin you never knew about?"

"No."

"A clone?"

"No."

"An evil clone?"

"Caitlin!" Barry protested, growing impatient at her wild theories.

"Alright, alright." Caitlin laughed. "I give up. What is it?"

"Iris asked me out on a date!"

"She did what?" He had to be pulling her leg. _It was way too soon!_

"Well," Barry scrunched up his nose and admitted, albeit reluctantly, "She asked me… we… uh, us," Barry gestured to himself and Caitlin, "out on a double date. With Eddie as, uh, as her date and you as mine… but still! It's something, right? A double date is still a date!"

"Oh," Caitlin said, and then she realized that her reaction wasn't up to par and tried to put a smile on her face. "That's great, Barry," she forced out. She closed her book and cleared her throat. "I mean," Caitlin lightly punched Barry's shoulder, "Congrats, champ. We're finally getting somewhere with this whole fake dating thing. Thank goodness."

Barry didn't seem to notice her subpar acting and agreed whole-heartedly. "I know! This is the _perfect_ opportunity to show off that I am, in fact, the _perfect_ boyfriend. We have to go all out and be the most _perfect_ couple ever and have the world's most _perfect_ double-date."

"If you say the word 'perfect' one more time, I'm going to throw my book at you." She closed her book and waved it in the air to prove her point.

"Okay, fine. I'll stop." Barry paused for a second before his excitement took over again and he blurted out, "But we have to practice for this so we can actually be the per— uh, _bestest_ couple ever."

Caitlin raised an eyebrow. "Bestest?"

"You want me to say it?" Barry threatened. "Cause I'll say it… peerrrrrrfee—"

Caitlin used her hand to cover up Barry's mouth and stop him from speaking. "Don't say 'perfect', but bestest isn't even a word!" She sighed. "You know what? I'll let it go cause you're nervous about the double date, but we'll be fine, Barry. We'll just be our normal happy-go-lucky selves and have a good time."

"Mmph," Barry responded, his mouth still covered by Caitlin's hand.

"Anyway, I think that if we just— Oh my God! Did you really just lick me?" Caitlin screeched. She pulled her hand away from Barry's mouth and began rubbing the saliva covered hand on the licker's shirt. "What the hell, Barry!"

Barry had a grin on his face as he watched her freak-out. "You covered my mouth, what was I supposed to do?"

"Not lick me!"

Barry shrugged, moving on from the topic completely. "Anyway, if we're going to impress tonight, we have to practice. We can't just wing it and bomb."

Caitlin looked up from rubbing her hand on Barry's clothing. "Wait a minute. Did you say tonight? As in this night? As in a couple of hours?"

Slowly and dramatically, Barry placed his hands on either side of her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. He shook her lightly, back and forth, and nodded a conformation. "Yes. Tonight. This night. A couple of hours. Which is why we need to practice."

"But why so soon?"

"Well, according to Iris, it's better to have it on a Friday night so we wouldn't have any classes to worry about and it's right after a major test so we wouldn't have a pop quiz or a lot of homework to stress over. It's the perfect time for studious people like us to have fun," he explained and then sighed. "Wow, she knows me so well."

She reluctantly agreed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Barry's dreamy, love-sick expression. "Okay, I guess you're right. But I wish we knew about this sooner so we could have had time to learn to act like a better, or as you would call it, _bestest_ fake couple."

The two of them stood up from the bench and began walking on the path towards their homes.

"That's what I'm saying. We should practice! We need to plan our romanticness so we're the perf— _bestest_ couple. But also, I need to be romantic towards Iris too, so we need to work on how we impress her."

Barry was so immersed in his planning and excitement, he didn't notice that Caitlin was walking slower behind him kicking a tiny pebble along the path. He stopped and turned to look at her. "You want to come over to my place to practice?"

"Huh?" Caitlin looked up at him as her pebble flew off off-course and headed towards the grass.

"I know it's against the rules," Barry started, "but you've already been over to my place once and I'm sure you don't want us to practice being a couple in public. We can just think of this as a tutoring moment, but instead of bio-mechanics, it's all about love. After all, I am your unofficially official life-coach/tutor/therapist. This will just be the life coach part."

"What makes you think that you would be the one teaching me to flirt and be a good significant other?" Caitlin asked. "Out of the two of us, I'm the one who's actually been in a committed long-term relationship." Sure it was with Ronnie, and sure it ended up being a complete disaster, but it still happened!

"I've dated before," Barry protested.

"Right, and you definitely didn't date them for Iris." At Barry's silence she said, "It must have sucked to date _the_ Barry Allen. I mean, you had this reputation of being the hottest boy on campus. The most athletic and most intelligent and then when they finally got to date you, it's just a pining love-sick sap who doesn't really care about them and is just using them to impress another girl." She grinned and playfully nudged him, trying to make it look like a joke. "At least you're honest with me."

Her words were scathing, but she hoped her tone mellowed out her accusations.

"Linda was part of Iris's group," Barry said in an attempt to defend himself. "Iris forced me to go out with her. It wasn't like I manipulated her into dating me and- and I wasn't just using her to get Iris to like me—"

"No, that's just me, right?" Caitlin cut in. Her smile seemed harder and harder to hold.

"Linda and I had some pretty good times together," Barry continued, not really reading into Caitlin's little snipe.

"Then why did the two of you break up?" she asked.

Barry tossed his head back and scrunched his eyes together in thought. "I don't know. We went on a couple of dates that Iris had helped set up for us, but after the first one, it all seemed pretty boring and it all just felt the same. Like our study sessions—"

"Our study sessions are boring?" Caitlin cut in, pursing her lips. Not like she cared. Study sessions were for learning. Not for having fun. She did _not_ care.

"No! The opposite, in fact!" Barry corrected, and Caitlin released a huff of breath in relief (again, not that she cared or anything). "I feel like every time we meet up, it's fun and we have something new to talk about. Like solipsism or the newest Doctor Who episode or anything. After the first date with Linda, it was like we ran out of things to talk about and we just didn't have anything in common."

"Hmm," was Caitlin's one-note response.

"Plus, she was just like Iris; it was creepy."

"She acted like Iris? To impress you?"

"Well, no. It's just that her and Iris's personalities are pretty similar, so it was kinda weird."

"So you dated someone who was like Iris?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't like it."

"…yes?" This time, Barry had a hesitant tone in his voice, like he knew where Caitlin was headed and he didn't want her to reach it.

And then she reached it. "So what makes you think that when you actually date Iris it would be any different?"

"Cause it will be different!" Barry protested.

"You're impossible, Barry."

Not having a good enough argument or response, Barry decided to change the subject back to what they were initially talking about in the first place. "So my house so we can tutor each other on the act of being a good fignificant fother?"

Caitlin scrunched her nose up at the end of his sentence thinking Barry just had a unique lisp she never realized. "Fine," Caitlin agreed. They would be breaking Rule 13, but screw it, they had broken so many rules so far they might as well just burn the book. No… no, she couldn't do that. But just this rule… and just this once. Even though that was what she had said the last time she ended up in Barry's dorm... Shaking her head, Caitlin tried to banish any conflicting thoughts from her head as the two of them trekked on.

Once they entered Barry's dorm, Caitlin threw her backpack down and took a seat on his couch in the same spot she sat the last time she had come over. She liked that spot; it was comfortable. Barry went to his mini-fridge and pulled out two bottles of water. He handed one of them to her and took a seat on the other side of the couch.

There was silence, broken only by the occasional sips of water, as the two of them tried to figure out what to say.

Finally Caitlin asked, "So, how are we gonna do this whole flirting thing?"

Responding with a deadpan look, Barry said, "Turtle."

"Huh?"

"Turtle." Barry gave her a look as if he expected her to know what he was talking about.

She didn't.

Knowing that this wasn't going to get them anywhere, Barry, with the speed of a hare, snatched Caitlin's wrist and shoved it on the top of his head. She had one second to feel its soft silky feel before, her senses got to her and she snatched her hand right back, holding it close to her body.

Rubbing her wrists, even though Barry's hold hadn't hurt her, she asked, "What was that?"

She knew it was just Barry, but she couldn't help the surprise, and even panic, when Barry had grabbed her like that. She knew that Barry was a speedster and that he preferred to do things quick and to just get to the point, but for Caitlin, slow and steady would always win the race. She wasn't one for surprises and she wasn't one for grabbing… er, sudden displays of affection.

It was strange how it was the little things that caused her to have a mini panic.

"Turtle," Barry repeated. "It's code for play with my hair, remember?"

"You could have just said that," Caitlin grumbled, dropping both her hands to rest on her lap.

"Actions speak louder than words," Barry sang, leaning closer towards her side of the couch. "So when I say the word 'turtle', you—"

Agreeing with the idea that actions do speak louder, Caitlin reached out and ran her fingertips lightly over the top of Barry's hair. Barry stilled almost immediately in response, any words he had to say seemed lost in his throat.

Growing more confident, Caitlin allowed herself to immerse her whole hand into his short hair, fisting it softly. It was so soft, she could scarcely believe she was touching it. Scooching closer towards him on the couch, Caitlin moved her fingers through the wild strands of dark brown hair and watched it filter in and out of her hand like smooth grass. She twirled some of the longer strands in her finger and finally looked down from her view of his head to meet his eyes.

"Like this?" Caitlin asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," Barry said, his voice sounding breathy, "Exactly like that."

She still had her fingers in his hair, as the two of them leaned their upper torsos closer and closer towards each other.

"What…" Caitlin hesitated. "What should we do now?"

Now that their faces were mere inches away from each other, it seemed that they were quite stuck. Place any other two people in that situation and the next activity would have been quite obvious.

Person 1 (Barry) would lean in and look at Person 2 (Caitlin) with those entrancing green eyes; Person 1 would then run his tongue nervously on his bottom lip, before gathering up the nerve to ask… "So, you have any pets?"

_Huh?_

Well, that was not what she was expecting.

In her bewildered state, Caitlin took her hands out of Barry's hair and withdrew back to her side of the couch. "What?"

"No, I mean, it was just the way you were playing with my hair. It felt nice. Like—"

"Like I was petting a kitten." Caitlin couldn't help if her voice sounded monotone and… disappointed?

"Kitten?" Barry asked. "So you're a cat person, I see."

"I take it you're a dog person?"

"How'd you know?"

"Your whole personality screams 'Dog Person'," Caitlin stated as if it was obvious.

"How so?" Barry asked.

"Energetic, friendly," Caitlin described.

Barry nodded in agreement.

"Loud," she continued.

He considered it for a second and reluctantly agreed.

"Obnoxious, in-your-face, an—"

"Hey!" Barry protested. "Now, I may be all those things, but dogs are definitely not obnoxious!"

While Caitlin laughed at his defense of dogs, Barry took the opportunity to throw one of his pillows at her face. Catching it, Caitlin threw it right back. "Fetch, Barry! Who's a good boy?" she crooned.

Barry caught the pillow with one hand and held it up in victory. "I'm a good boy!" he announced, unabashedly proud, and tossed the pillow right back to her.

"Aw, does wittle Bawwy want to be pet like a wittle puppy?" Caitlin teased, holding the pillow up like a toy. "Does Bawwy want the pillow?"

"Yeah!" And like the energetic puppy he was inside, Barry gave her a look, letting her prepare herself for what was coming, and pounced forward to reach the pillow, essentially body slamming both her and the pillow, but making sure that his full weight was not squashing her completely.

"Ah!" Both she and Barry rolled over and fell on the carpeted ground in front of the couch.

"Barry, why do you do this to me?" Caitlin laughed and hit him with the fluffy pillow once more, urging him to get off of her, not that she really minded him being on top of her.

He quickly did, dusting himself off before reaching out a hand to help his fake girlfriend up. As soon as she grabbed it to pull herself up, he let go, causing her to fall back down with an "Oof!"

"Why are your hands so cold?" Barry exclaimed while shaking his own to get them to warm up.

Caitlin fixed him a heated glare from the ground. "I run cold," she answered.

Barry looked at her sheepishly, realizing he just let her drop, and offered his hand once more for her to take. Caitlin batted those hands away and stood up on her own.

"I've held your hands before," Barry reasoned. "They were never this cold."

"We've held hands outside during the middle of the day while the sun was out. Of course, I wouldn't be too cold then. Here, you have the air conditioning on blast and wonder why my hands are cold."

"I keep the AC on cause it's always so hot wherever I am, but you... you're like an icicle," Barry said.

"Gee, thanks." Caitlin had a blank face, but the small quirk at the corner of her lips betrayed her. "I don't think this flirting session is really getting us anywhere."

"Are you kidding me? Today was great! We worked on our 'turtle-ing' and we learned that you are a living Frosty the Snowman. Now I just have to suck it up and hold your hand." Barry held out his hand for her to take.

"Wow, that's really what I want my fake boyfriend to say to me," Caitlin said, but she took his hand in her own anyway.

"Ugh," Barry fidgeted. "Your hands are so cold."

"And your hands are so hot," Caitlin shot back. "Now quit acting like a wimp and hold my hand tighter."

"Oh, bossy. I like that." He winked. "Ah, that's hot. That's hot."

Caitlin used her other hand, the hand not connected with Barry, to slap his shoulder, while Barry ducked away and tried to hide his breathy chuckles.

They continued to hold hands for a couple more seconds, Barry squirming and fidgeting, before he suddenly froze (not literally) and realized, "Hey, this actually feels pretty nice."

Caitlin hummed in agreement as Barry's excessive heat didn't feel too glaring and her ice-cold fingers didn't feel so intense.

"Thermodynamic equilibrium," she explained. "My cold hands and your hot hands together caused us to balance out to the ideal temperature."

"The ideal temperature," Barry repeated and then he turned to her and grinned. "This is a sign."

"How so?" Caitlin asked.

"If together we can be the ideal temperature, together we can be the ideal fake couple! We can be the bestest fake couple in history!"

Caitlin groaned. "Not this again."

"Hey, at least I didn't use the word 'perfe—"

Before Barry could even finish the end of the word, Caitlin had reached down to the ground and tossed the pillow in Barry's face, effectively silencing him.

"Still hate that word, huh?"

"Still hate you." Caitlin crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue, her eyes twinkling.

"Turtle," Barry said.

Her immediate response was to go for his hair. It was a little more awkward now that they were standing, but standing on her tiptoes, Caitlin managed to give his hair a good ruffle before planting her soles back on the floor.

"Can't hate me while you're petting me like a kitten, can you, bestest fake girlfriend?"

"Stop saying that, bestest isn't even a word."

"It so is!" Barry argued.

"Says who?"

"Says…" Barry pulled out his phone to do a quick search. "Urban dictionary!"

"Well Urban Dictionary is wrong! You can't add a superlative to best to make it bestest because best is already a superlative in itself."

"Uh huh," Barry said, not really listening to her argument. He showed her his phone one more time. "You might not believe Urban Dictionary, but are you really going to argue with the Merriam-Webster dictionary?"

Caitlin squinted as she looked at the entry for the word 'bestest'. "It says it's informal! Just because we _can_ say it doesn't mean we should!"

"Alright, Doctor Snow," Barry scoffed. "Think you're better than Merriam-Webster?"

"Maybe," Caitlin replied.

"But isn't that how language works?" Barry asked.

"How so?"

"We come up with new words all the time. Like… I don't know, emoji, low-key, lit, no cap, flex, bruh, yee—"

"But those are all slang and some of those words were already normal words, they just have different meanings now."

"And a hundred, no, fifty, even twenty years ago, nobody would have thought to use words like that with that meaning. Language is always evolving and changing and we should change with it, or we're just going to be frozen in the past."

"But there is a certain order to grammar," Caitlin stressed. "There are rules and limits and if we ignore those bounds and give free reign for people to talk however they want, there would be no more structure! No more understanding. We would all devolve into complete chaos—"

"Alright, I think you're being a little overdramatic right there and we've definitely had this conversation before. I still get that you're horny for rules." Barry grinned.

"Yeah, and you're joke is definitely funnier the second time you say it."

"I'm just saying, Cait," he said, "you're insistence for going by the book is admirable, but sometimes, you just gotta lighten up and run free."

"You think I'm uptight," she stated matter-of-factly.

"I wouldn't say it like that. But…" Barry trailed off, looking sheepish. "Don't you remember being a kid without any responsibilities and your only rule was you had to be home by 8? Don't you miss those days?"

She missed it more than anything. She missed her wacky science experiments in the backyard. She missed family game night, when her family was actually together and happy. She missed her dad's hot chocolate, the kind he used to make when he had the strength to reach for the cupboard and—

"You were right," Caitlin admitted.

"Huh?" Barry asked, "Right about your uptightne—"

"I do have a pet," Caitlin interrupted, changing the subject before she could fall deeper into a hole of memories. "A cat."

He had asked if she had any pets so long ago, he had most certainly forgotten, but she hadn't.

Her cat. Something current. Something she hadn't lost yet and wasn't planning on losing.

Barry nodded, allowing Caitlin to change the subject without any argument, to which she was eternally grateful. "It's why you're so good at petting," Barry said. "What's its name?"

"Her name is Frost," Caitlin said wistfully. "She is absolutely beautiful with the most gorgeous silver fur." She chuckled. "When I lived back home, she would always bring us dead rodents and squirrels from the yard and drop it at our feet like it was a present."

"Gross." Barry crinkled his nose in disgust.

Caitlin shrugged. "It was her way of showing love. Dad nicknamed her 'Killer Frost'."

It hurt to talk about her home, but it also felt cathartic. This time, she had control over what she could tell Barry and she could control the memories that came with it.

"Out of everyone I knew, Frost was probably my best friend when I was a kid. I know it's sad that a cat was my closest friend."

"No." Barry shook his head. "It think it's sweet."

Feeling encouraged, Caitlin took out her phone and showed him a picture of Frost. She swiped and revealed another picture of Frost being held by the most important person in her life.

"Is that your dad?" Barry asked as Caitlin handed her phone off to him while she went to get her backpack and other belongings off the floor.

"Yeah."

"He seems nice," Barry noted.

"Yeah."

If Barry noticed her strained voice in an effort to keep her voice level, he didn't say anything.

"Oh," Barry said suddenly, "I almost forgot!" In his hurry, Barry stuffed Caitlin's phone into the back pocket of his khaki-colored pants and rushed past her to get to his bedroom.

Just as quick as he left, he popped back out with a bundle of flashcards in his hand. "I made us relationship flashcards!" he announced excitedly like he just found the cure for ALS.

Caitlin shook her head. There was no point in worrying over her dad at a moment like this. Rather, she asked, "Relationship flashcards?"

He shuffled through them quickly to find the example he was looking for. Pulling it out of the pile, he showed her, "Turtle!"

On the back was the definition: _Affectionately play with the fignificant fother's hair._

The number of questions she had only continued to grow. "Fignificant fother?" She realized she may have heard him use that term before, but dismissed it as a lisp.

Barry shuffled through the cards again before he handed her the card that read, _Fignificant Fother: Also known as "Fake Significant Other"._

"Nobody says that!" Caitlin protested. "I've literally never heard anyone use that term. This is even worse than 'bestest'!"

"Obviously you haven't been studying your flashcards." Barry wagged his fingers. "Shame. For a moment, I thought you were my star pupil."

"I'm your only pupil and isn't making flashcards for our relationship a little over the top?"

"You make giant textbook sized rulebooks, I make flashcards, star— I mean, only pupil," Barry contended.

"I'm not your star pupil anymore?" Caitlin asked, tossing the flashcard she was handed behind her and ignoring Barry's protest.

She didn't know what overcame her at the moment, but this was Barry and he felt no attraction to her whatsoever. She knew that. He asked if she had any pets after Caitlin had tried to be physically affectionate with him! Barry was understanding, knowing when to ask questions and when to hold back. He knew that she had her limits and stayed away from them. There was a certain sense of trust after sharing a secret that only belonged to each other. At the same time, she didn't mean anything to him… so she decided to have a little fun.

She was a cat and he was a ball of yarn.

Trying to make her voice lower and more sensual, she took a few steps closer to Barry, fluttering her eyelashes and biting her lower lip for added effect. "Why am I not your star pupil anymore? Wasn't I a good student?"

Barry took a hesitant step back and laughed nervously. "You- you didn't know the vocabulary and- and by the way, you're a terrible flirt."

"A terrible flirt?" Caitlin laughed daintily, still walking forward, driving Barry backwards until he hit a flat surface.

With his back to the door and Caitlin still approaching, Barry had nowhere to go. He couldn't do anything but watch what would happen next. Caitlin trailed her fingers lightly up his button-down shirt. She kept going up, her fingers going past his heart and collarbone before meeting at the nape of his neck. Interlocking her fingers behind him, Caitlin stood on her tiptoes and blew lightly into his ear.

"Tell me when to stop," she whispered seductively, her lips pressed to his ear and her body pressed against his.

He didn't say a word. He didn't even dare to take a breath.

Slowly, her fingers trailed down once more. Past his collarbone, past his heart, past each and every button lining down his shirt until she reached his khaki pants.

With one finger pointed out on each hand, Caitlin curled them into the belt loop of his pants and used those two fingers to pull his whole self forward. She could have sworn he did a full body shudder at that moment.

Once Barry's back was away from the door, Caitlin's hands went to the back of his body, lower and lower, before she stuck a hand into one of the back pockets of his pants.

She leaned in and whispered, "You still have my phone."

With the speed of lightning, she grabbed the device from his back pocket and jumped away, holding the phone up in victory with a wide grin covering her whole face.

Barry blinked owlishly for a few moments, trying to collect his thoughts and figure out what the hell actually happened. Those few moments seemed like an eternity to Caitlin and it suddenly dawned on her that she might have crossed a line. Her grin began to drop as her mind began to fill with regret and—

Barry squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. Letting out a huff of air, he opened his eyes again, giving her a _look_ before saying, "You tease. You absolute—"

Caitlin's grin returned once more, stronger than ever. "Not bad for a terrible flirt, now is it?" she asked, hands on her hips, cocking her head to the side.

"That…" Barry chuckled, still seemingly in disbelief at what just happened. "That was just cruel."

"Hey, I'm just playing the game."

"Alright then, you may have won this time… but just you wait," Barry said mischievously, before his pitch changed and he sang, " _Just you wait_."

Caitlin moved past him to get to the door and open it. With her backpack tossed over her shoulder and her newly acquired relationship flashcards clutched in her hands, she turned and sang back with a smile, "In the words of Aaron Burr, ' _I'm willing to wait for it!_ '"

"I'll see you tonight, star pupil."

Replaying the conversation over and over in her head, Caitlin still couldn't piece together anything. Words began jumbling together and suddenly words like "fignificant fother" and "bestest" were part of her vocabulary. Suddenly, Barry was a part of her life in a way she never expected.

Though she hadn't let him in fully, she hadn't told him about her dad's ALS or her terrible relationship with her mother, she had revealed parts of her that had taken others in her life much longer to uncover.

He had an effect on her that she just couldn't understand. Perhaps he had that effect on everyone and she just wasn't that special. Part of her didn't believe that, but maybe it was just wishful thinking.

And then she had gone and taken her phone from him in the most sexually charged way possible. She didn't even realize she had it in her! She tried to figure out why she did that and how she mustered up the courage to do that, and finally came to the conclusion that since Barry wasn't attracted to her in any way, there was no harm in a little faux physical flirting. It was all to better herself as a fake girlfriend.

 _This was all for her grades_ , Caitlin reminded herself.

That was it. That was the reason.

But she couldn't understand why she had such a hard time convincing herself of that.

When she finally reached home, it took her a second to register that Felicity was sitting at the kitchen counter. Felicity seemed to be in a similar state of mind as her and jolted in her seat, spooked at the sound of the door opening. It looked like she was in deep concentration before Caitlin had showed up, incredibly focused on a small toy in her hand.

However, upon seeing Caitlin, Felicity quickly cleared the counter and shoved whatever she was holding into her pocket. "Cait! It's almost lunch, I thought you would be back right after your exam. Speaking of, how was it?"

She did take the exam today, Caitlin realized. So much had happened after that, she had forgotten the moment that had been part of her nightmares for so long.

"Felicity," Caitlin said, all thought of small talk forgotten. "I need your help."

After a quick summary of what happened after the exam, leaving out certain flirtations, Caitlin leaned against the counter next to Felicity and nodded. "So yeah. I have a double date tonight with Barry and... Iris."

Felicity blinked. Though she didn't know the full story, about Barry's plot to convince Iris to develop romantic feelings for him, she still knew enough about his history with her to know that he had once (still) harbored strong feelings towards the girl. "Do we have any ice cream?" Felicity finally asked, going to the freezer. "Today feels like an ice cream kind of day."

"Did you not hear me?" Caitlin asked. "I have a date tonight and I need to look good or something."

"All the more reason to eat ice cream. No one actually goes on dates to eat. You have to eat beforehand." Felicity handed her a giant spoon and opened up their carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"I don't think ice cream is going to fill me up though," Caitlin argued as she simultaneously dunked the spoon into the creamy treat and pulled out a scoop. "Mmhh." Any protests against ice cream before a date was lost in her pharynx.

She took a seat at the counter, while Felicity leaned against the slab on the other side, the two of them separated by the container of creamy, minty goodness.

"So a date, huh?" Felicity asked, scooping another spoonful and licking it off the utensil. "Also, why do you only buy mint chocolate chip ice cream? The most garbage flavor of ice cream?"

"Yep, a date. And nope, do not diss the mint chocolate chip. It's original and cool and refreshing."

"All ice cream is cool, Cait! It has ice in its name!" Felicity argued, scooping another spoon of the green treat into her mouth.

"Felicity, the date, remember?" Caitlin tried to steer the conversation back on topic.

"Right, right, your date or rather, double date. You've already moved past singular dates, are you even ready for double dates?"

"Nope."

Felicity stopped eating her ice cream and looked at her. "You know you can tell Barry 'no', right? We live in the 21st century, where a women has rights and doesn't have to do everything a man asks. Ever heard of it?"

"I want to though!" Caitlin winced at the terrible lie. "I mean, I kinda do? I might not be ready, but I don't think I ever could be. I just have to do this and get it over with."

"Wow, sounds romantic."

"You know what I mean."

"Actually, I don't."

"Today, Barry was so… I don't know… funny and kind and understanding and— anyway, we ended up on the subject of childhoods and I- I didn't tell him about dad or anything, but… I did tell him about Killer Frost and—"

"You told Barry about Frosty?" Felicity exclaimed. "The bane of my existence?"

Caitlin laughed. "I told you, Felicity. Frost is my best _animal_ friend. You're my best _human_ friend."

Felicity merely harrumphed and ate another spoonful of ice cream. "I can't believe I have to compete with a cat."

"Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I could feel myself opening up to Barry and it scares me and you're like the only other person I've opened up to like that besides my dad and probably Cisco. It feels weird because I've known you guys for so long before doing that, but I've only known Barry, like _really_ known him, for less than a semester."

"Romantic love is different, Cait," Felicity advised wisely. "It feels different. It is different."

Caitlin rubbed tiredly at her eyes. "It's not that, Felicity."

"Why not?" At her silence, Felicity continued, "You opened up to me and it was hard at first but you broke through that wall with me. What's stopping you from doing the same with Barry?"

_Because it's not real._

"Because it's too soon."

"That doesn't sound like a good enough reason."

"Ugh," Caitlin responded, laying her head down on the cool counter. "Enough about me now. How's Oliver?"

"Ugh, enough about boys," Felicity countered. "It's always Barry this and Oliver that with the two of us. We're just constantly failing the Bechdel test!"

"You know what? You're right! Screw boys!" At Felicity's mischievous grin, Caitlin pointed her empty spoon at her. "No. Not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter."

Felicity burst out laughing and Caitlin could not help but join in.

"Fine, fine, fine," Felicity relented. "We need another topic. Less depressing and boy-free. How about… Oo, how have your self-defense classes been?"

"It's been good! I've really learned a lot over the past few months. You should join me next time!"

"No, thank you," Felicity replied. "I'd rather stay holed up in my home and stay behind the screens."

"Come on!" Caitlin encouraged. "It's good to get out and know how to protect yourself! I'll show you a couple of moves. Get up." She waved her arm encouraging Felicity to come join her in the living room.

"After we just had ice cream?" Felicity whined, but she joined Caitlin in the living room nonetheless.

"Okay, so I want you to come behind me and wrap your hand around my throat."

When Felicity did so, Caitlin demonstrated how to get out of the chokehold quickly and effectively without hurting her in the process.

"If this was real, your foot and pelvic region would be in a lot more pain."

"Understood," Felicity responded. "Show me another move."

Back and forth, Caitlin taught Felicity things she learned in the classes she attended every other week. She didn't go consistently, as her studying, research, and altruistic deal took up a great deal of her time, but whenever she had free time, Caitlin always made sure to book an appointment at the studio called Arrowverse.

The classes had taught her so much and it was a decision she had never regretted making. She learned tips on how to walk home safe at night, numbers to call when in danger, and offensive and defensive moves to do if she was ever in a situation that she needed to escape.

She didn't need to be afraid. She would be prepared this time.

It was actually Oliver who had suggested she join. He mentioned to both her and Felicity the studio he had started where he worked on his martial arts and suggested that they join him. Arrowverse was a place that accepted men and women of all abilities and taught them to be their strongest self.

While Felicity had immediately scoffed at the offer, Caitlin had considered it, researched it further, and signed up for it online.

Sara Lance, the coach for the class, had welcomed her with open arms and she felt very comfortable in an environment filled with women that had the same agenda as her.

Caitlin was a quick learner, picking up the defensive techniques with relative ease. Sara suggested she move on to a higher level class of martial arts to get even better. Caitlin had resisted, saying that she was only doing this for basic defense, but Sara had insisted. Listing all the reasons why women with martial art knowledge were untouchable badasses, Sara made her argument unbeatable and before she knew it, Caitlin was in a class taught by part-time coach, part-time journalist, and full-time badass, Kara Danvers.

She had met so many powerful women through her time at the studio, even introducing Felicity to a couple of them, and through them and what they were able to teach her, Caitlin had begun to feel more empowered and sure of herself.

Before she joined Arrowverse, she was heartbroken and in a vulnerable place, right after her messy breakup with Ronnie, but she was able to pull herself up and fight for herself. Sure, she had her bad days, but who didn't? The good thing was that she got up every morning and kept moving forward.

Caitlin was surprised to find Felicity so willing to learn from her. The two of them kept moving, one defense stance after the other, and it looked like Felicity was really enjoying herself.

Sweaty and tired, both Caitlin and Felicity stopped to catch their breath after a particularly difficult technique.

Caitlin reached her arms to the ceiling and stretched. "Does this mean you'll join me in Arrowverse?"

"I swear, you and Oliver ask me—"

"BEEP!" Caitlin exclaimed loudly. "You just failed the Bechdel test!"

"Hey! That doesn't count!" Felicity got into a tackling position and Caitlin formed her defensive stance. They practiced their moves one more time, their movements getting less and less by the book and more and more playful. By the end, Caitlin had Felicity in a loose headlock and Felicity had one arm wrapped around her upper thigh. She craned her head to look up at Caitlin before the two of them burst out laughing. "Okay," she admitted. "This is kind of fun."

Once Caitlin released Felicity, the blonde wiped some sweat of her forehead and grinned. "Now go take a shower and we'll get you ready for your date with Barry."

Caitlin tsk-tsked while walking to her bedroom. "Failed the Bechdel test once again. And you call yourself a feminist."

"Oh, shut up, Caity," Felicity snarked at Caitlin's back, humor in her eyes.

"Now you're putting down other women?" Caitlin turned around for a second and gasped. "Not in this feminist household!"

The only sounds filling the home was laughter and the thud of a towel hitting the back of Caitlin's head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!


End file.
